Blog entry for:

however, living in tomorrow means moving in with fear, alright i have to admit it, i went back on my calendar to see where i was a year ago, and could not or did not write my blogs for several days. i was in a very good place, on vacation with my honey, soaking in the pool at Glenwood Springs. as i remember back on those days, i chose to spend my time focused on her and us, instead of doing my blog. i was also recovering from a major rearrangement of my internal plumbing.
now moving into the her and now. i need to go run real quickly, so i will be right back…
…well here i am, back at it again. so the real question is where was i going, or better put; where do i want to go now. after all, this is about living in the moment, and what i had on my mind when i started this little random brain drain, is not what is on my mind now. so after a brief jaunt around the neighborhood, i come back to this whole living in the past, living in the future dilemma. it is true, that in order to get along in the real world i have to make plans for my future. including but not limited alternate plans in case the outcome is not as i desire. it is also quite true, that if i desire to live a life making fewer mistakes i need to be able to hold on to my past experiences, to temper my actions in the her and now. the reading does not contradict either of these statements, but for a long time, i was of the belief that it did. after all, is not making plans for my future the same as living in the future? how about using the experience of my past to avoid making mistakes, can that not be considered living in the past? actually the answers to both those questions is a resounding NO! i am not some sort of hermit, living a life of asceticism. i am not a monk living on the top of the world in quiet contemplation. although either one of those roles could be in my future. no i am a person living in the real world, who has accumulated some bills, some responsibilities and gets to be part of loving and equal relationships today. all that i am, is the result of all that i have done, and in order to keep what i have been given, i make plans to do what i need to do. living in the her and now, involves more than a little bit of my past and my future, the trick for this addict is how to temper all of those parts into a life of living in the now.
so what is the plan for today? well my plan is to bill a client, work a removing a piece of nasty-ware from the computer of a friend, and perhaps get some office time in my outside office. as the day unfolds i will see what part comes true and what parts of this plan will require altering. i am not stuck in having to will the world around me to suit my plans, and that for me, is a sign that i can live in the here and now, just for today.

∞ DT ∞