โ in this moment โ
Posted: Thu, Sep 29, 2016 07:37:16 AM
i am free.
an interesting thought for this early autumn morning, if i slice my time to this exact moment i certainly can see that i am free. free of worry and free of regret. yes the past is history, the future a mystery, that is why right now is such a present. now that i have the platitudes, memes and clichés out of the way, i can dive into what i heard this morning and it certainly was not about time and did not contain a tardis. what i heard was all about freedom and what it means to be free.
there are a couple of directions i can go with this notion. the first and most obvious is i live in a time and place where i am “FREE” to express ideas that may not be mainstream, popular or even politically correct. that means although i may not get imprisoned for saying or writing stuff that does not fit neatly into some ultra-patriotic, uber-american mold of “my country right or wrong, if i do not like it, leave;” sort of mentality, i will be chastised by those self-righteous zealots who lack the ability to think for themselves. i find that ignorance is the greatest impediment to my freedom, and it is the ignorance of those who are spoon-fed their opinions, their culture, their hopes and dreams from the media machine that is controlled by the corporate masters who want nothing more than to keep the masses placated and docile, the sheeple they see us as, as it were. the artificial divide between the two political parties, is to give us the illusion of freedom, when in the background, someone else is jerking our chains.
ah but i digress, what was meant to be a treatise on the FREEDOM given to me, by the program of recovery i live and by living in the moment, has turned into a diatribe against the evils of modern society. i distracted myself and although it is a topic i could write on for days on end, it is only BECAUSE of the FREEDOM that i have been given, that i can even see the nature of what the world looks like and can decide to free myself from the chains of culture that i willingly accepted the red pill. part of this journey through the steps, has been to find my place in society,. as i opened my eyes to what i had become, isolated, vapid and shallow, i was no longer surprised that i had very few deep long-term relationships, it was part of who i had become and it fed the lie that i was somehow broken beyond repair, or even more disturbing, even broken in the first place. i made conscious choices and acted with seemingly free-will, that led me down the shoot to the knives in the slaughterhouse of misery. i told myself i was what i was, and that i was incapable of change, so why bother. it was not until i had moved into STEP THREE, that i detected the lie, and that i was lazy and fearful, not damaged goods.
yes i know that i am a product of my culture, and yes i may not like the drivel that passes for intelligent discourse, in the here and now. what i want and what i have been getting, when i step back, is the opportunity to free myself from the chains of culture, in that instant of time, and see myself and my place in the world, as it is. as i get “better” i can say things such as i am voting in this election for the president of the USA. who i am voting for and why? well that is a topic for discussion over a good cup of coffee and a fine cigar. today i can free in the here and now and move on down the road to my place of gainful employment. that is a choice i make, whether or not is is out of FEAR or DESIRE, does not matter. i accept that as my choice and i am grateful i have the FREEDOM to do so.
an interesting thought for this early autumn morning, if i slice my time to this exact moment i certainly can see that i am free. free of worry and free of regret. yes the past is history, the future a mystery, that is why right now is such a present. now that i have the platitudes, memes and clichés out of the way, i can dive into what i heard this morning and it certainly was not about time and did not contain a tardis. what i heard was all about freedom and what it means to be free.
there are a couple of directions i can go with this notion. the first and most obvious is i live in a time and place where i am “FREE” to express ideas that may not be mainstream, popular or even politically correct. that means although i may not get imprisoned for saying or writing stuff that does not fit neatly into some ultra-patriotic, uber-american mold of “my country right or wrong, if i do not like it, leave;” sort of mentality, i will be chastised by those self-righteous zealots who lack the ability to think for themselves. i find that ignorance is the greatest impediment to my freedom, and it is the ignorance of those who are spoon-fed their opinions, their culture, their hopes and dreams from the media machine that is controlled by the corporate masters who want nothing more than to keep the masses placated and docile, the sheeple they see us as, as it were. the artificial divide between the two political parties, is to give us the illusion of freedom, when in the background, someone else is jerking our chains.
ah but i digress, what was meant to be a treatise on the FREEDOM given to me, by the program of recovery i live and by living in the moment, has turned into a diatribe against the evils of modern society. i distracted myself and although it is a topic i could write on for days on end, it is only BECAUSE of the FREEDOM that i have been given, that i can even see the nature of what the world looks like and can decide to free myself from the chains of culture that i willingly accepted the red pill. part of this journey through the steps, has been to find my place in society,. as i opened my eyes to what i had become, isolated, vapid and shallow, i was no longer surprised that i had very few deep long-term relationships, it was part of who i had become and it fed the lie that i was somehow broken beyond repair, or even more disturbing, even broken in the first place. i made conscious choices and acted with seemingly free-will, that led me down the shoot to the knives in the slaughterhouse of misery. i told myself i was what i was, and that i was incapable of change, so why bother. it was not until i had moved into STEP THREE, that i detected the lie, and that i was lazy and fearful, not damaged goods.
yes i know that i am a product of my culture, and yes i may not like the drivel that passes for intelligent discourse, in the here and now. what i want and what i have been getting, when i step back, is the opportunity to free myself from the chains of culture, in that instant of time, and see myself and my place in the world, as it is. as i get “better” i can say things such as i am voting in this election for the president of the USA. who i am voting for and why? well that is a topic for discussion over a good cup of coffee and a fine cigar. today i can free in the here and now and move on down the road to my place of gainful employment. that is a choice i make, whether or not is is out of FEAR or DESIRE, does not matter. i accept that as my choice and i am grateful i have the FREEDOM to do so.
∞ DT ∞