๐ when i serve ๐
Posted: Sat, Sep 19, 2026 08:20:46 AM
selflessly, i can be a part of that force for the addicts who benefit from that work. where i am not going this morning is down into the pit of despair that i often do when i look back on my history of less than selfless service. i am also not going to dwell in the house of pain wondering if the service i do today, is selfless or enough. what came to me as i sat, was a sense of gratitude, yes i know way out in left field, that i have a place and purpose in the fellowship that is the bedrock of my recovery. that gratitude, such as it, is expressed in how i serve and the service i give willingly. yes i know how Susie Sunshine that may sound, coming from an old cynic like me, but WTF, i can walk on the sunny side of the street every now and again. 😉
it is not often that the void brings me to a place of gratitude. usually my plan of the day, what was bothering me yesterday or a judgement of my source material seems to dominate moments between the quiet. for the last few days, the quiet has been the dominant feature and that is more than likely part of what if fueling my gratitude this morning. although i have no sense of some sort of HIGHER POWER listening and responding to me, when the quiet dominates, i feel connected to something. what that something may be, i leave to philosophers and theosophists. i know that how i serve these days may look very underwhelming to those around me. i also know that once upon a time, i would find myself in distress about that reality. as i grow though my step work and my active recovery program i am finding what i believe others think of me, less important. note to self, less important not unimportant. here is where i could but will not inventory how i serve today. in times past i would have to qualify that last statement and today i have no desire to do so. that, in and of itself, is certainly out of character for who i think i am and i will leave it at that.
walking out of my house and joining the rel world, i will carry the balance and peace i have found this morning with me. i am sure, however, by the time i arrive at my home group, i will find at least one example of someone who i need to judge based on the manner in which they are driving. that, too, is part of who i am. what i HOPE for, is that i make the judgement, see it for what it and let it go. i have the ways and means to do so, therefore…
it is not often that the void brings me to a place of gratitude. usually my plan of the day, what was bothering me yesterday or a judgement of my source material seems to dominate moments between the quiet. for the last few days, the quiet has been the dominant feature and that is more than likely part of what if fueling my gratitude this morning. although i have no sense of some sort of HIGHER POWER listening and responding to me, when the quiet dominates, i feel connected to something. what that something may be, i leave to philosophers and theosophists. i know that how i serve these days may look very underwhelming to those around me. i also know that once upon a time, i would find myself in distress about that reality. as i grow though my step work and my active recovery program i am finding what i believe others think of me, less important. note to self, less important not unimportant. here is where i could but will not inventory how i serve today. in times past i would have to qualify that last statement and today i have no desire to do so. that, in and of itself, is certainly out of character for who i think i am and i will leave it at that.
walking out of my house and joining the rel world, i will carry the balance and peace i have found this morning with me. i am sure, however, by the time i arrive at my home group, i will find at least one example of someone who i need to judge based on the manner in which they are driving. that, too, is part of who i am. what i HOPE for, is that i make the judgement, see it for what it and let it go. i have the ways and means to do so, therefore…
∞ DT ∞