๐ฅ by continuing ๐ฆ
Posted: Wed, Sep 30, 2026 10:19:31 AM
to open up and give back, i can be a part of something bigger than myself. this morning, as i perused my source literature for me seed of the day, almost passed this one by because it looked like one more service reading and there is not a whole more i have to say about m service efforts and what i feel about them. a bout of closed minded nonsense that i am grateful i overcame. from time to time, i can actually override the bias i have for delving deeper than than what i think the subject is about. today i am sure that what i did no want to take into the void with me, was exactly what i needed to take with me.
i can say that when i was using the only thing bigger than myself that i desired to be a part of was a group of people who used like i did and how lived by a similar lack of moral code. if i was overdosing, i have no doubt that my “friend” would have dropped me off at an ER ambulance entrance and hightailed it out f thee, if they had the opportunity to do so. i know that was what i would do, or at the minimum call 911 and run! today, i see the absurdity of that whole idea and when i enter social contracts with my peers, my friends, my family, my fellowship and the world around me, overdosing is not part of the milieu. what a difference that makes, to say the least. i remember an old Groucho Marx line “i don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member,” and certainly applied it to my attitude when i was merely abstinent , fronting my recovery.
these days, not so much. today i am glad i participate actively in the fellowship that has given me a new manner in which to live. i may not find connection to every person i work with these days, as evidenced about the bandwidth and bytes i have expended on one f them. those that do connect with, however, i trust they have my back and i certainly have their backs as well. my peers, friends and the fellowship in general, rise to a higher standard. i may be circumspect with my co-workers about who i am and what i am going through, but with my friends and peers, that will not work. for two reasons, most of hem know me well enough o call me on my bullshit. the second reason being, i no longer have the desire to hide in plain sight any more. just for today, i may not practice unity in all of my affairs as evidenced by my troubled relationship with my teammate at work, but i do my best with what i got.
i can say that when i was using the only thing bigger than myself that i desired to be a part of was a group of people who used like i did and how lived by a similar lack of moral code. if i was overdosing, i have no doubt that my “friend” would have dropped me off at an ER ambulance entrance and hightailed it out f thee, if they had the opportunity to do so. i know that was what i would do, or at the minimum call 911 and run! today, i see the absurdity of that whole idea and when i enter social contracts with my peers, my friends, my family, my fellowship and the world around me, overdosing is not part of the milieu. what a difference that makes, to say the least. i remember an old Groucho Marx line “i don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member,” and certainly applied it to my attitude when i was merely abstinent , fronting my recovery.
these days, not so much. today i am glad i participate actively in the fellowship that has given me a new manner in which to live. i may not find connection to every person i work with these days, as evidenced about the bandwidth and bytes i have expended on one f them. those that do connect with, however, i trust they have my back and i certainly have their backs as well. my peers, friends and the fellowship in general, rise to a higher standard. i may be circumspect with my co-workers about who i am and what i am going through, but with my friends and peers, that will not work. for two reasons, most of hem know me well enough o call me on my bullshit. the second reason being, i no longer have the desire to hide in plain sight any more. just for today, i may not practice unity in all of my affairs as evidenced by my troubled relationship with my teammate at work, but i do my best with what i got.
∞ DT ∞