Blog entry for:

in order to fulfill more important long-term goals. To do so requires patience.
learning how to be patient and then learning how to apply that brand new skill are tasks that are well suited to the recovery process. yes i could move forward with that thought, but that is exactly what the reading already said. i have a habit of sometimes rehashing the reading when i strongly agree with it, and this morning i think i will try and go in another direction.
as i accumulate a days of recovery, i find that i am changing into a person that i would not recognize, had i met him ten years ago. no i have not morphed into some sort of alien being, but the changes wrought in me as a result of working the steps are beyond anything i ever though was possible. i have yet to have the patience of some sort of saint, but i have learned to delay gratification based on the priorities i see in my immediate and not so immediate future. yes i would love to go out and purchase a bright and shiny new... however, today i understand that there are bills to pay, responsibilities to meet and most importantly that is not something i really need. sorting through unrealistic wishes and realistic desires is a task that i have to to able to accomplish on a consistent basis. where is the hope i hear you asking, well the hope is that i am still clean, and i am willing to look at what is possible, what is probable and what is just smoke and mirrors. the program has taught me, that my wants ands my needs are not necessarily the same thing. i have to practice a bit of patience when i look at that long list and decide what i can fulfill today, what needs to be delayed for another day because i want something more in the future. the most ironic part these days is that i have a few assets and a savings account. accumulating assets and increasing my net worth, is something i was unable to do when i was using, or even in early recovery. those who have gone before me, have shown me that i do have a futer and i NEED to do the footwork to secure that future. yes my HIGHER POWER does provide the tools and the means to do so, it is up to me to practice a bit of patience to follow-up and do the next right thing, especially where my future is involved. the program has given me the HOPE that even a hopeless dope fiend like me can survive and even thrive for a very long time, and today is a good day to continue moving forward to secure my future. after all even though this is a just for today program, i probably will have another day tomorrow.

∞ DT ∞