who knows???
Posted: Mon, Oct 18, 2004 08:13:43 AM
i have not a clue what the JFT was about today so i will go with i seem to remember and that was i belong no matter how different i may appear from others.
and boy does that apply today. all weekend but especially sunday i had a strong desire to use. i did not use, i called my sponsor, i hung out with others in recovery, i went to a meeting and i shared about wanting to use. all of that felt foreign to me, after all, i am supposed to have some time and some recovery and this should not be happening to me.
well the truth is the only difference between and the newcomer is it has been longer since i last used. i may appear to have it all together but the reality is that i am finding the emotional roller coaster i have been on highly intolerable. i finally followed my own suggestions and worked steps 1, 2 and 3 on what i am going through and VOILA i feel better today. i know that i will still be on the roller coaster but at least i can tolerate it today and that is a good thing. i really do belong here and i will continue to do whatever i need to stay here
--DT --
and boy does that apply today. all weekend but especially sunday i had a strong desire to use. i did not use, i called my sponsor, i hung out with others in recovery, i went to a meeting and i shared about wanting to use. all of that felt foreign to me, after all, i am supposed to have some time and some recovery and this should not be happening to me.
well the truth is the only difference between and the newcomer is it has been longer since i last used. i may appear to have it all together but the reality is that i am finding the emotional roller coaster i have been on highly intolerable. i finally followed my own suggestions and worked steps 1, 2 and 3 on what i am going through and VOILA i feel better today. i know that i will still be on the roller coaster but at least i can tolerate it today and that is a good thing. i really do belong here and i will continue to do whatever i need to stay here
--DT --