Blog entry for:

i had a hard time **fitting in.** deep down, i believed that if i really let others get to know me, they would reject me. i can relate to the line about this being at the root of my addictive behavior, that would be a nice blame game to play this fine Saturday morning, however as time goes by, i see this as a symptom rather than a cause. fitting in and accepting myself as i am, is part of the vision i have for myself these days, and one that this journey through the steps is addressing with or without my consent. it is easier that i am on board with this process these days instead of fighting it.
i do fit in somewhere these days, and it is in the rooms of the fellowship that has saved my life. i still have a bit of trouble being who i am, at all times, and a bit of trouble letting others see me just as i am, but that to is getting better. as my sponsor likes to tell me, it is the process i need to be aware of, and not the destination. so i do have more than a few things to get accomplished today, and it is time for me to get cracking. perhaps i will come back later and add an addendum, or not.

∞ DT ∞