Blog entry for:

but the strength of my commitment to recovery and the power of the care of a HIGHER POWER is sufficient to carry me through, just for today. the part i have the greatest problem with lately, is listening to what my senior partner is trying to tell me. yes i have worked a third step and yes i practice the third step daily, but somehow i get the notion, on a seemingly daily basis, that i know better and choose to ignore what information i have received. a case in point was that before i acted-out on Saturday afternoon, i drew the word ‘restraint’ from the basket at the meeting. i chose to ignore the message and proceeded to self-will something on the basis of a long simmering resentment i had, one that i did not even realize i had going, and one with which i am just starting to process. evidence like this occurs on a daily basis for this addict and yet i choose to ignore that sort of stuff, blindly choosing to go down the path of self-will.
the HOPE is that as i examine my life on a daily basis, i can take stock of what messages i got during the day and which ones i accepted as something i needed to do and which i chose to ignore.
so off into this day, with my plan being to attend a meeting of my home away from home group, to see if i can find a bit of solace and add a bit more recovery into my life. we will see if my plan and the plan of my SENIOR PARTNER coincide today.

∞ DT ∞