Blog entry for:
Sat, Feb 18, 2012 08:59:19 AM
∫ i will honor my commitment to a partnership ∫
posted: Sat, Feb 18, 2012 08:59:19 AM
with THE POWER that fuels my recovery, to the best of my ability!
such a wonderful, catch-all phrase, to the best of my ability. after all, that is such a nebulous and imprecise term, that at any given time, i can say that was the best of my ability, even when i am fully self-willing life around me to happen as i DESIRE. before i had a TENTH STEP, that was my favorite fall back, alas, things change, and so do i, and the term to the BEST OF MY ABILITY, has a whole new set of meanings, depending on how spiritually fit i happen to be. i can use it as a whip as well as a pillow and in the long run, it really is me, who determines whether or not i literally do my best is me.
that was not the only thing i HEARD this morning in the minutes of quiet time i got to enjoy. when i was using and even in recovery, two words were certainly not part of my vocabulary: relationship and commitment. so add those two terms to the word GOD and i got more than a tiny foul taste in mouth, in fact when those three words were used in the same sentence i would feel nauseous enough to projectile vomit! on of the benefits of doing my best to live a program of recovery, is that as i grow, so does my understanding of who i am, where the power comes from to keep me clean and where i can go today. i need not wrap that power up in mystery and awe, after all it IS the POWER that fuels my recovery and provides me the opportunity to GET everything i NEED to survive and even thrive today. nothing more, nothing less and for me that is more than enough, or as one may hear a mathematician or logician say: necessary and sufficient.
my part of this relationship? BE AWAKE! i need to be present in my life, so i can take advantage of those opportunities as they come my way and do my best to do the footwork to make them be a successful enterprise. simply difficult in and of itself, but it seems to be the pattern of my life lately. i GET what i NEED when i am awake enough to take it, TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY!
anyhow, i have some work to get done, some cigars to smoke a meeting to get to and who knows what else will come my way across the course of today. it is a great day to be clean and yes, a partner in my recovery and life with the POWER that fuels my recovery.
such a wonderful, catch-all phrase, to the best of my ability. after all, that is such a nebulous and imprecise term, that at any given time, i can say that was the best of my ability, even when i am fully self-willing life around me to happen as i DESIRE. before i had a TENTH STEP, that was my favorite fall back, alas, things change, and so do i, and the term to the BEST OF MY ABILITY, has a whole new set of meanings, depending on how spiritually fit i happen to be. i can use it as a whip as well as a pillow and in the long run, it really is me, who determines whether or not i literally do my best is me.
that was not the only thing i HEARD this morning in the minutes of quiet time i got to enjoy. when i was using and even in recovery, two words were certainly not part of my vocabulary: relationship and commitment. so add those two terms to the word GOD and i got more than a tiny foul taste in mouth, in fact when those three words were used in the same sentence i would feel nauseous enough to projectile vomit! on of the benefits of doing my best to live a program of recovery, is that as i grow, so does my understanding of who i am, where the power comes from to keep me clean and where i can go today. i need not wrap that power up in mystery and awe, after all it IS the POWER that fuels my recovery and provides me the opportunity to GET everything i NEED to survive and even thrive today. nothing more, nothing less and for me that is more than enough, or as one may hear a mathematician or logician say: necessary and sufficient.
my part of this relationship? BE AWAKE! i need to be present in my life, so i can take advantage of those opportunities as they come my way and do my best to do the footwork to make them be a successful enterprise. simply difficult in and of itself, but it seems to be the pattern of my life lately. i GET what i NEED when i am awake enough to take it, TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY!
anyhow, i have some work to get done, some cigars to smoke a meeting to get to and who knows what else will come my way across the course of today. it is a great day to be clean and yes, a partner in my recovery and life with the POWER that fuels my recovery.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ a partnership? with GOD?? ∞ 387 words ➥ Friday, February 18, 2005 by: donnot∞ showing up for life and doing what's put in front of me ∞ 293 words ➥ Saturday, February 18, 2006 by: donnot
α knowing that i lack the power to stay clean and find recovery on my own Ω 422 words ➥ Sunday, February 18, 2007 by: donnot
∞ making it through the early days of recovery felt like the hardest thing i had ever done. ∞ 293 words ➥ Monday, February 18, 2008 by: donnot
α i have entered into a partnership with a Power greater than i am. ω 478 words ➥ Wednesday, February 18, 2009 by: donnot
± the strength of my commitment to recovery and the power inherent ± 525 words ➥ Thursday, February 18, 2010 by: donnot
“ as long as i take it easy and make the commitment to do the best i can ” 729 words ➥ Friday, February 18, 2011 by: donnot
— i AGREE to do the best i can — 555 words ➥ Monday, February 18, 2013 by: donnot
µ my task today? not to fake it or pretend to be superhuman, µ 577 words ➥ Tuesday, February 18, 2014 by: donnot
— i will to do the best i can — 788 words ➥ Wednesday, February 18, 2015 by: donnot
↬ the recovery partnership ↫ 886 words ➥ Thursday, February 18, 2016 by: donnot
❛ my **fake news** memories, ❜ 884 words ➥ Saturday, February 18, 2017 by: donnot
🤜 honoring my commitment 🤛 833 words ➥ Sunday, February 18, 2018 by: donnot
🏴 simply doing 🏳 505 words ➥ Monday, February 18, 2019 by: donnot
😒 showing up 🙃 574 words ➥ Tuesday, February 18, 2020 by: donnot
😎 the early days 😒 474 words ➥ Thursday, February 18, 2021 by: donnot
🎟 the strength 🎠 490 words ➥ Friday, February 18, 2022 by: donnot
🤔 my fundamental 🤔 379 words ➥ Saturday, February 18, 2023 by: donnot
😈 making room 😇 558 words ➥ Sunday, February 18, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
4) They who preserve this method of the Tao do not wish to be full
(of themselves). It is through their not being full of themselves
that they can afford to seem worn and not appear new and complete.