Blog entry for:

the footwork of recovery and allowing the POWER that fuels my recovery to take care pf the rest. okay, i have to admit, that sounds a bit weird coming from me. it is as if i want all the **good** parts of a HIGHER POWER and want to trash those bits i cannot abide by. this entire THIRD STEP has been all about overcoming what once was and integrating what is, into my recovery journey. as a result, sitting here on this step has created more than a few of these “issues” between what i want that POWER to provide and my notion of what that POWER happens to be. letting go of the apparent contradictions and allowing myself the freedom to just accept instead of living in the need to quantify and qualify, seems to be what this THIRD STEP is coming down to and as i get comfortable with that notion, maybe it is time to start writing.
looking beyond what i want ⇒ the ability to have a concept of a POWER greater than myself, without having to resort to “Jedi mind tricks.” the [problem with that, is that leaves so much in the “unfathomable” column, that i feel more than a bit uneasy and wonder if i am moving into the “mysterious ways” paradigm. fortunately, for me anyhow, i can see that there are many examples of “unfathomable” in the physical world that work, to provide me a model for my belief system.
gravity for instance, keep me and the physical part of my world, fairly strongly attached to this rocky world i call home. gravity cannot be measured or quantified, yet, but its effects on other bodies can be calculated and predicted with astounding accuracy. gravity, is without a doubt, is a very real part of the physical world, but how it comes about is still unfathomable. using that as a model for how i view the POWER that fuels my recovery, i can see i NEED that POWER to give me what i need on a daily basis, but i do not need to understand the “nuts and bolts” about how those needs are fulfilled. just as gravity glues me to the surface of Earth, so the POWER that fuels my recovery, glues me to the recovery process and the fellowship that gives me the freedom to explore these arcane trains of thought. i am okay being in a “partnership” that i cannot explain nor explain away. i know that i lack the power to stay clean and accept that has to be externally provided. i think that i will leave it at that, before i start going into nooks and crannies that i do not have the time to explore this morning. it is a great day to be clean and to be a part of the world around me, walking on two legs on the mostly solid ground of this spherical chunk of matter.

∞ DT ∞