ฮผ i begin by admitting i have a problem -- that i do not know the first thing โฆ
Posted: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 11:48:24 AM
about how to have healthy intimate relationships. i apply the program to all my affairs, seeking the same kind of freedom in my relationships that i find throughout my recovery. well, this is a bit of an overstatement these days, i do know a thing or two about how to have a healthy relationship, intimate or otherwise, but there is still plenty for me to learn! i could end with that though as it sums everything up quite nicely, but since i have been going for quite a bit already today, i need a break and so i will tread down the path that this reading opens up in my mind and my heart.
it did amaze me, that those with whom i chose to form relationships were far from who i really wanted to be with. and those that i really wanted to be with, wanted nothing to do with me. in early recovery, i made a commitment to my6self, that ended-up lasting the first six years of my recovery, not to enter into any intimate relationships until i was at least one year clean, and healthy enough to learn how to do one. and today i am glad that i made that commitment, not the six years was what i really wanted, but apparently it was what i needed and as always, it seems i get what i need more often than i get what i want.
so yes, i am in a relationship, a quite intimate one, and the amazing part was i feel she was chosen for me, and i that choice is one i have come to see as one of the best things that ever happened to me. is my part in the relationship healthy? well, we have our ups and downs, and it is certainly the healthiest relationship that i have EVER been in, including works, school, family, fellowship or intimate. what makes it work in my opinion, is that i am willing to be teachable, make adjustments and let go of my expectations most of the time. it is a process, like everything else, and being in a healthy relationship is not the destination. in fact i doi not know what the destination is that i am traveling towards. this is one aspect of my life that i choose to actually focus on the journey and let the destination take care opf itself.
so anyway, there is still work to be done and i am still in need of doing it, so i need to sign-off wit this -- i may be an April fool but i am no longer fooling myself about how well i do or do not do any of my relationships, thay all need some work.
it did amaze me, that those with whom i chose to form relationships were far from who i really wanted to be with. and those that i really wanted to be with, wanted nothing to do with me. in early recovery, i made a commitment to my6self, that ended-up lasting the first six years of my recovery, not to enter into any intimate relationships until i was at least one year clean, and healthy enough to learn how to do one. and today i am glad that i made that commitment, not the six years was what i really wanted, but apparently it was what i needed and as always, it seems i get what i need more often than i get what i want.
so yes, i am in a relationship, a quite intimate one, and the amazing part was i feel she was chosen for me, and i that choice is one i have come to see as one of the best things that ever happened to me. is my part in the relationship healthy? well, we have our ups and downs, and it is certainly the healthiest relationship that i have EVER been in, including works, school, family, fellowship or intimate. what makes it work in my opinion, is that i am willing to be teachable, make adjustments and let go of my expectations most of the time. it is a process, like everything else, and being in a healthy relationship is not the destination. in fact i doi not know what the destination is that i am traveling towards. this is one aspect of my life that i choose to actually focus on the journey and let the destination take care opf itself.
so anyway, there is still work to be done and i am still in need of doing it, so i need to sign-off wit this -- i may be an April fool but i am no longer fooling myself about how well i do or do not do any of my relationships, thay all need some work.
∞ DT ∞