โ mountains or mole hills? โ
Posted: Wed, Jan 19, 2005 06:03:43 AM
the program of recovery offers me the tools i need to be realistic about what i am facing in the here and now. it also provides the framework for dealing with what i need to in the future. although this is a just for today program, this does not mean that i live with blinders on toward my future needs, desires and responsibilities. what i took away from today's reading was that worrying incessantly and obsessively about a small problem, i can do the footwork necessary to relieve my future suffering, by realistically looking at what my part is in the problem. if i am having trouble making ends meet at the end of each month, then i need to look at how much i am spending and what i can cut to relieve my financial burdens. if i want to say take a 10 day vacation in Hawaii, i can put it all on my credit cards and deal with them forever more, or i can save a bit of my disposable income, day by day, and accumulate the funds for the trip. by acting in the here and now i get relieve my burden in the future.
but hers is the rub, I WANT IT NOW! delaying gratification is not part of my make up. i want solutions, fixes and freedom from my problems NOW. and of course this is the trap, my desire for instant gratification, overwhelms me and then i am obsessively worrying about how to satisfy or solve, instead of realistically looking at the procedure for long term relief.
but that is the nature of my disease today, and once i understand and accept this tiny little fact, i can once again come back to reality and look at what my problems are today -- mostly mole hills --
DT