Blog entry for:

real-life opportunities for excitement and drama, without me having to manufacture them. as i finish all the activities i had planned to accomplish before football starts today, i am amazed at the level of acceptance and yes even serenity, that i currently possess, when i think about the current state of my life. sure i am still dealing with the mountain of debt i willingly took out, to feed the scammers, last year. i am struggling with the next steps are for the prostate specific antigen results i received yesterday and what my elevated levels may mean. i am going to Ireland and am unable to access the funds i need to,. until later this month. oh yeah, the cost of the final two crowns that will make my mouth complete, is still on my mind as well. yup, more than a few molehills or mountains in my life.
i am of the opinion that saying i have a level of serenity in my life, does not diminish that state of being at all, unlike saying how humble i am or looking for a reaction from doing a good deed that no one witnessed me doing. even though i could be all about being worried and fearful, i keep coming back to a bit of FAITH in the program of recovery that is my life. that FAITH is not in my financial and other worries being removed from my life, but is more rooted in the fact that no matter what, i have a HIGHER POWER that will give me what i need to stay clean and maybe a bit more, if i pay attention to what is going on around me. life goes on and i GET to be okay with another day clean.
now that i have all the “yippy-skippy” there are still a few places in my life i seem to be reserving for me to deal with: a peer or two locked in self-will and total denial and my coworker who just does not get it. where i seem to be is moving to a place of letting go, then i interact with them and <BOOM:gt; all my understanding, patience and tolerance flies out the window. just for today, i think i will allow myself to be at peace with the fact that even though i know they are who they are and i am who i am. it is a good day to be clean and root for the underdogs.

∞ DT ∞