for excitement and drama. of course, when i get emotional over something, i certainly can explode it into far more than it needs to be. i would not have made that last statement if i did not have a case in point readily in hand. last night, against my better judgement, i inflated a situation into far more than it needed to be, what could have been one addict owning their mistakes, turned into a session where i beat the living sh!t out of them. i know they were trying to do the next right thing and clear up some stuff. i also know, that although they may have, in my opinion, mishandled the whole situation from the very start, they were trying to explain what really went on. what they said is pretty irrelevant, what i heard, through my distorted sense of reality was rationalizations, excuses and covering their very exposed a$$. the upshot? i will have to admit i was wrong for the manner in which i treated them and clean-up my side of the street. it also means that i will have to bail on a service commitment tomorrow evening, to deal with the matter at hand, something i am not that thrilled to do. it is as it is, and in the long run? well in the long run, whatever the outcome, it will make those who are part of the process a bit stronger and better able to practice spiritual principles. honestly, this all about hurt feelings, on the part of those who initiated this course of action, on the part of the one who is supposed to be our voice, on the part of myself and the other member who have been here in our hometown since the start and nothing short of the action we are taking can now resolve this issue. the genie is out of the bottle, as the tired cliché goes and nothing can put it back in.
this mole hill, that i have been made a mountain is starting to diminish back into a manageable scale, just by writing this out. i know what i need to do, and now that i am breathing normally once again, i can let it go and allow the outcome to be as it will be. i am certain that there is no one that has as much passion about this issue as i do, so instead of obsessing about it, i will do my best to let it go.
so as i have lots of work to do, and very little hours in this day, i think i will sign-off, hop into the shower and get moviung down the road. it is after all a great day to be on this side of the dirt.
∞ DT ∞