Blog entry for:
Sat, Jun 26, 2010 08:42:56 AM
Þ my fears are lessened and my FAITH begins to grow, Þ
posted: Sat, Jun 26, 2010 08:42:56 AM
as i learn the true meaning of surrender. of course there is always the old argument about what am i surrendering and to what am i surrendering it. i can go around and around about that. i can use a bit of sophistry to spin it in a direction i want it to go. i can even just plain resist by pretending i am somehow confused. all of those are viable alternatives,however, this morning, none of those seem worth the effort or energy they require to implement. so this morning, the choir boy steps in, and parrots the pat answer, i will surrender my ENTIRE WILL and LIFE into the care of a HIGHER POWER.
BOOM, 'nuff said, i guess i can go on with my day and hit the dusty trail. or can i? there is actually something else that popped into my head as i dismissed the primary message of the reading this morning. it is going to take me a few minutes to develop this inkling into a full-fledged thought, so bare with me.
so after a minute or so, i went back to the reading, and what jumped out at me was exactly the same thought about the easier, softer way. at this point in my recovery, fighting the process actually consumes a whole lot more of my resources than going with the flow. i remember what another addict shared the other night about that idea, how as he watched the water bugs journeying up and down a creek with flowing water, he was struck by how much easier it was for the bugs to go downstream, than upstream. and yet, there were bugs determined to go upstream regardless of the cost. just like those bugs, when i live in self-will, i am going against the flow, and all i see at the time is what i NEED to do to get my version of the outcome to manifest itself in reality -- i am swimming upstream, putting all of my efforts into a battle that may or may not be worth fighting, and believing wholeheartedly that is where i NEED to go. in such a state i am incapable of letting go, much less surrendering, and the less progress i make towards my destination, the more effort i put into it, more often than not way past the point of diminishing returns. when i finally exhaust myself, or even worse actually achieve what i thought i NEEDED, i am struck about how tenacious and single-minded i can be, and wonder what my life would be like, if i went after what i hear as my HIGHER POWER's will for me. if i surrender and allowed the flow of life to take me where i need to go, adding a stroke or two to keep myself off the the rocks ahead. what i end up seeing is that surrender and accepted are truly the path of least resistance, and FAITH that the outcome of any scenario, will in the long run, be what i really want it to be, you know my TRUE will for myself.
which of course brings me back to the top, it is only in applying STEP THREE in my life, that i learn the practicality of surrender and the meaning of growing my FAITH. which of course leads to a whole bunch of other cascading surrenders, which i have no desire to write about this morning. i am willing, at least right now, to let go, and surrender my will and my life into he care of a HIGHER POWER, and see where this day takes me. so it is now off to hit the streets and pound off some of the stored energy i have accu7mulated over my torso. it is a great day for me to allow myself to align my will with that of the POWER that keeps me clean.
BOOM, 'nuff said, i guess i can go on with my day and hit the dusty trail. or can i? there is actually something else that popped into my head as i dismissed the primary message of the reading this morning. it is going to take me a few minutes to develop this inkling into a full-fledged thought, so bare with me.
so after a minute or so, i went back to the reading, and what jumped out at me was exactly the same thought about the easier, softer way. at this point in my recovery, fighting the process actually consumes a whole lot more of my resources than going with the flow. i remember what another addict shared the other night about that idea, how as he watched the water bugs journeying up and down a creek with flowing water, he was struck by how much easier it was for the bugs to go downstream, than upstream. and yet, there were bugs determined to go upstream regardless of the cost. just like those bugs, when i live in self-will, i am going against the flow, and all i see at the time is what i NEED to do to get my version of the outcome to manifest itself in reality -- i am swimming upstream, putting all of my efforts into a battle that may or may not be worth fighting, and believing wholeheartedly that is where i NEED to go. in such a state i am incapable of letting go, much less surrendering, and the less progress i make towards my destination, the more effort i put into it, more often than not way past the point of diminishing returns. when i finally exhaust myself, or even worse actually achieve what i thought i NEEDED, i am struck about how tenacious and single-minded i can be, and wonder what my life would be like, if i went after what i hear as my HIGHER POWER's will for me. if i surrender and allowed the flow of life to take me where i need to go, adding a stroke or two to keep myself off the the rocks ahead. what i end up seeing is that surrender and accepted are truly the path of least resistance, and FAITH that the outcome of any scenario, will in the long run, be what i really want it to be, you know my TRUE will for myself.
which of course brings me back to the top, it is only in applying STEP THREE in my life, that i learn the practicality of surrender and the meaning of growing my FAITH. which of course leads to a whole bunch of other cascading surrenders, which i have no desire to write about this morning. i am willing, at least right now, to let go, and surrender my will and my life into he care of a HIGHER POWER, and see where this day takes me. so it is now off to hit the streets and pound off some of the stored energy i have accu7mulated over my torso. it is a great day for me to allow myself to align my will with that of the POWER that keeps me clean.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
self-will 105 words ➥ Saturday, June 26, 2004 by: donnotδ allowing surrender δ 299 words ➥ Sunday, June 26, 2005 by: donnot
∞ all i have to do is our part, as responsibly and conscientiously as i can ∞ 492 words ➥ Monday, June 26, 2006 by: donnot
δ not that surrender is always easy. on the contrary, surrender can be difficult, δ 371 words ➥ Tuesday, June 26, 2007 by: donnot
μ when driven primarily by self-will, i constantly wondered whether i had covered all the bases μ 429 words ➥ Thursday, June 26, 2008 by: donnot
∞ all i have to do is my part, as responsibly and conscientiously as i can ∞ 454 words ➥ Friday, June 26, 2009 by: donnot
√ as i learn the true meaning of surrender, i find that i am fighting √ 888 words ➥ Sunday, June 26, 2011 by: donnot
∏ i will surrender self-will and seek knowledge of the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery ∏ 500 words ➥ Tuesday, June 26, 2012 by: donnot
± by surrendering, acting on faith, and living my life ± 160 words ➥ Wednesday, June 26, 2013 by: donnot
∫ surrender is the beginning of my new way of life ∫ 455 words ➥ Thursday, June 26, 2014 by: donnot
ℑ i no longer NEED to fight ℑ 627 words ➥ Friday, June 26, 2015 by: donnot
ℴ surrendering ℴ 599 words ➥ Sunday, June 26, 2016 by: donnot
🏳 driven primarily 🏳 860 words ➥ Monday, June 26, 2017 by: donnot
🍒 my fears are 🍒 640 words ➥ Tuesday, June 26, 2018 by: donnot
🏏 covering all my bases 🏃 519 words ➥ Wednesday, June 26, 2019 by: donnot
🏅 fighting fear, 🏅 643 words ➥ Friday, June 26, 2020 by: donnot
🏴 the more 🏳 306 words ➥ Saturday, June 26, 2021 by: donnot
🖖 doing my part, 🖖 517 words ➥ Sunday, June 26, 2022 by: donnot
🤜 the theraputic 🤛 305 words ➥ Monday, June 26, 2023 by: donnot
🏚 what did not 🏚 400 words ➥ Wednesday, June 26, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
The thirty spokes unite in the one nave; but it is on
the empty space (for the axle), that the use of the wheel depends.
Clay is fashioned into vessels; but it is on their empty hollowness,
that their use depends. The door and windows are cut out (from the
walls) to form an apartment; but it is on the empty space (within),
that its use depends. Therefore, what has a (positive) existence serves
for profitable adaptation, and what has not that for (actual) usefulness.