ฮด allowing surrender ฮด
Posted: Sun, Jun 26, 2005 07:13:13 AM
well, here i sit, at a loss for words, trying to come up with what i am feeling and thinking about the reading this morning....
i work over the whole surrender aspect once again that i hinted at in my headline.
i know that i have been resisting surrender and trying to self-will everything over the past week, but this morning i am finally approaching the mental state required for me to let go. i know this because of the difficulty i am having in making this entry. the winds of change that have been screaming through my head in the recent past have diminished this morning and wonder if this is just the eye of the hurricane and whether they will come back worse in the opposite direction if i allow them.
i do have the evidence that my life is unmanageable and that i am a poor manager of my life. relying on my skills to affect any outcome, will probably create consequences that i am unwilling to accept. but the flip side of that is that i really have no clue what GOD‘s will is for me today either. so that allows me few choice either sit home and isolate until i get a clue or two, or just move forward with what i need to do, you know, take some responsibility for my life, recovery and day and see what happens. that means i will have to work to find the next right thing to do, listen for the voice of GOD in all those i happen to run across today and do my best to accept what comes.
and, you know, i guess that is allowing myself to surrender responsibly.
so on with my day and life!
∞ DT ∞
i work over the whole surrender aspect once again that i hinted at in my headline.
i know that i have been resisting surrender and trying to self-will everything over the past week, but this morning i am finally approaching the mental state required for me to let go. i know this because of the difficulty i am having in making this entry. the winds of change that have been screaming through my head in the recent past have diminished this morning and wonder if this is just the eye of the hurricane and whether they will come back worse in the opposite direction if i allow them.
i do have the evidence that my life is unmanageable and that i am a poor manager of my life. relying on my skills to affect any outcome, will probably create consequences that i am unwilling to accept. but the flip side of that is that i really have no clue what GOD‘s will is for me today either. so that allows me few choice either sit home and isolate until i get a clue or two, or just move forward with what i need to do, you know, take some responsibility for my life, recovery and day and see what happens. that means i will have to work to find the next right thing to do, listen for the voice of GOD in all those i happen to run across today and do my best to accept what comes.
and, you know, i guess that is allowing myself to surrender responsibly.
so on with my day and life!
∞ DT ∞