β’ my best thinking got me into trouble β¦
Posted: Mon, Oct 11, 2010 08:54:27 AM
...recovery is an active change in my ideas and attitudes. i have had better starts to my morning, and i also have had much worse starts to my morning. what does any of that have to do with the topic at hand, allowing recovery to adjust my attitudes? well, i am still alive and kicking and everything i NEEDED to get dome before i got the chance to write this entry is done. whether it is as early as i planned or not, is irrelevant to the discussion at hand. what is relevant is how i look at those events. of course, i have a hundred other things going on, so concentrating on this task, is becoming difficult. what should i do? well i have decided that all other stuff can wait, i NEED to think about how recovery changes the way i view thew world, and let the world take care of itself for just a few minutes.
the reading talks about my attitudes in active addiction, and i am certain that for me, it also means my attitudes in early recovery. one of my grand-sponsees, has misinterpreted what i used to say for my current set of attitudes and although i see that irony as quite delicious, it has opened my eyes to behaviors that could and are being construed as being part of that old attitude. it is true, that i at one time equated ignorance and the inability to think for oneself as signs of being a peasant. it is also quite true, that when i came to the fellowship, it appeared to me, that the members that were here fit quite comfortably into that category, after all they kept going on and on about GOD, and steps, and sponsorship, and the message was the exact same, coming out of a hundred different mouths. my glasses were quite dirty, to use the metaphor from the reading. so as time has gone by, as i have allowed recovery to change my perceptions and attitudes, i no longer see those in the rooms as my inferiors or superior on any sort of socioeconomic scale or intellectual scale, in fact the stuff i heard way back when is more than likely the same stuff i speak about in meetings today.i have become one of those that i could so glibly look down my nose at, back in the day.
where am i at today with my attitudes? well in a much better spot that before i took the time to settle down and almost concentrate solely on this task. i can see that i am a bit miffed, a bit stressed and more than a bit hurried this morning. which means the solution is to slow down, get a workout in and let the rest of what i need to do, sit for a the next 45 minutes. it is s good day to be clean and chilly or not, an even better =day to pound a few miles, one step at a time, so off to the streets i go.
the reading talks about my attitudes in active addiction, and i am certain that for me, it also means my attitudes in early recovery. one of my grand-sponsees, has misinterpreted what i used to say for my current set of attitudes and although i see that irony as quite delicious, it has opened my eyes to behaviors that could and are being construed as being part of that old attitude. it is true, that i at one time equated ignorance and the inability to think for oneself as signs of being a peasant. it is also quite true, that when i came to the fellowship, it appeared to me, that the members that were here fit quite comfortably into that category, after all they kept going on and on about GOD, and steps, and sponsorship, and the message was the exact same, coming out of a hundred different mouths. my glasses were quite dirty, to use the metaphor from the reading. so as time has gone by, as i have allowed recovery to change my perceptions and attitudes, i no longer see those in the rooms as my inferiors or superior on any sort of socioeconomic scale or intellectual scale, in fact the stuff i heard way back when is more than likely the same stuff i speak about in meetings today.i have become one of those that i could so glibly look down my nose at, back in the day.
where am i at today with my attitudes? well in a much better spot that before i took the time to settle down and almost concentrate solely on this task. i can see that i am a bit miffed, a bit stressed and more than a bit hurried this morning. which means the solution is to slow down, get a workout in and let the rest of what i need to do, sit for a the next 45 minutes. it is s good day to be clean and chilly or not, an even better =day to pound a few miles, one step at a time, so off to the streets i go.
∞ DT ∞