Blog entry for:

is a gift. i certainly can agree with that sentiment, especially when i am on the receiving end of someone being thoughtful. when i am on the giving part of that, well there are times when i think, not so much. over time, however, i have come to see that being thoughtful is not nearly the chore i once made it out to be. as i grow in my recovery, i no longer have to work to be thoughtful, pretending i actually want to be present and responding appropriately, i just do so 99 times out of 100 well more like 95 times, i am after all, human. 😉
what came up for me this morning, as i did a bit obsession about the conversation i may or may not have on Saturday morning, is to whom do i need to be the most thoughtful, my peers in my home group, or the newcomer who is disrespecting our manner of recovery? oddly enough, at least for me, i let it go, almost instantly as i have asked the POWER that fuels my recovery for the ability to sideline this little dilemma and allow me to live freed from this obsession until i need to deal with it. eve as i pound out this ditty, i am willing to walk away and head back into the deep dark cave of my obsession with fantasy football and my team that has yet to win a game. the truth is, i have also asked for the ability to let this go, but unlike my other current obsession, i keep hopping back on board this train and start googling to find the secret sauce to finally win a game.
in my daily life, i am working to eliminate the thoughtlessness i have inflicted upon my spouse. she too, seems to be doing what she can to allow us to communicate better. i know that what she desires is me to me attentive and present for her conversations and questions, even when i did not hear what she is saying. the way that works out, is i finish what i am doing and ask her to repeat what she just said, when i am present in the same room as she is.
time and again, when i find myself lacking in whatever happens to be the secret sauce for good communication, it seems that i am in a state of selfish thoughtlessness, when my needs and desires outweigh those of everyone else. the reading this morning is a good template for me to start my day off right and perhaps, not fall into that trap. it is on the thoughtful note that i need to post this little exercise and get moving for my walk du jour, as i am taking a week off from running to see if i can heal a bit from the sin of over-training. 🤕

∞ DT ∞