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ideas in line with reality is an idea i often think about, wondering how far i have strayed from what is real and what is fantasy. it is true, most of the time, i tend toward the darker side of life and this morning i have to ask if that is really that far off the mark. i do have to say that after spending a day second-guessing myself, my choices in Fantasy Football paid off and i even got the result is desired from the game last night. i was more than certain that KC would stage a comeback and beat Buffalo and that i would lose by ten points or more. when i got up this morning, still certain about what happened as i slept. before i sat, i wanted to look at at my score and the score of the game. instead i CHOSE to sit and listen, rather than peeking at that outcome before i gave myself the opportunity to center in the stillness. nothing changed in those twenty minutes, i needed up winning my match-up by three points and Buffalo beat KC. i am grateful i allowed myself the freedom from “needing” to know, in that slice of reality. it certainly is fitting that the result i assumed would be upon me, was not how things played out.
looking at the rest of my life, i can see that i have stuff to do, including getting my home ready for the change of the season. summer has been extended by several weeks this year, and this week, it appears that Autumn is truly upon us. using that as a metaphor for my spiritual progress, i am feeling that it is time to move beyond knowing what i have been and becoming who i will be. the pain of “not doing” has yet to materialize, but do i truly need to wait for that to happen, to move on. i can always wait until, the very last minute to drain my sprinkler system, running around like a madman to get it done as the temperature plunges below freezing, or i can step up and take matters into my won hand, when the weather guys say that the first hard freeze of the season is imminent. the pain of not doing in that situation is financial, as the water in my back-flow valve will do what water does as it freezes -- expand to fill all the available space and rupture piping when that space has been filled.
reality for me this morning, is that my morning workout time is coming to an end and i will need to slot another time period during the day. reality for me today, is that i have work to do for my employer and for my fellowship. reality today, in these plague times and times of plague denial, is that i need to take care of myself and my health and allow others to do what they desire, without casting a judgement about how selfish, self-centered and idiotic they may appear to be. and yes that is a judgement and i will not apologize for saying what i want to say, in my OWN space, get over it.

∞ DT ∞