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the world looks like a warm, inviting place to live. as the political season drags on and on, the tone of the megabux advertisers grows more and more dire. seriously, i do not believe the Islamic State is marching into Longmont tomorrow, nor do i see Ebola popping up and racing through Boulder, or any of the myriad of evils that may occur if i fail to vote for whatever candidate the hidden opinion broker is supporting. i was going to get rolling with a bit of daisies and rainbows, but my mind went here instead. what i am getting from the tone of the mass media today is certainly a whole lot of fear and loathing, and if i was more of a sheeple and less of a person who does his best to think for himself, well i would probably be marching lockstep with those fascists, when i mustered up the courage to get out of bed, after all, the world is dark and scary and voting for this candidate will make it less so, or will it???
i had plenty of free will when i got here, and was more than just a little capable of rational and critical thinking. well that is, except for one glaring omission, my uncontrollable use of drugs and my need to make the world spin my way. i have come to see, that even those two facets of my life could be changed, but it took a sh!tload of work and a total beat down by the forces of the justice system, to reach this spot. what spot is that? well to see the world through a more balanced and yes critical eye. the reading seems to suggest, at least superficially, that recovery makes me see only the rainbows and unicorns, disregarding the rest and addiction is the polar opposite. what i heard, when i could sit and listen, is that neither case matches the reality of what is, both are present, but for the most part, the world is a mix of both the bright and shiny and the dark and dangerous, and it is my job to sort through the chaff and white noise, to see it in all its glory.
warm and inviting or dark and dangerous, which is it? well in reality, and that is what i am dealing with today, at least my perception of reality, the world is neither, and is both. my spiritual path, gives me a foundation for seeing that in all things there is black and there is white. sometimes more of one or the other, but for the most part, what the world is, is somewhere in between. back to the idea that i stated above that the reading seems to suggest that in recovery, i see the world as bright and shiny. i certainly do not buy that idea at all, but what recovery has given me, is the ability to see the bright and shiny aspects of the world and lessened my need to focus on what i perceive as dark and dangerous, as that was where i stuck, when i walked into recovery, many days ago. that view, distorted by addiction certainly prevented me from seeing much but the dark and dangerous, as nothing was good enough for me, and everything had something wrong with it. that still may be true today, everything has its touch of dark and dangerous, but every storm cloud has its touch of warm and inviting. the political mania that is selling FEAR, UNCERTAINTY and DOUBT will end soon enough and the media will go back to its position of reporting what it sees through its ideological lenses. me? well i will move on, secure that i have the ability to better discern what is going on in the world and my life today, BECAUSE i am clean, i CHOOSE not to use and do whatever it takes to foster my recovery.

∞ DT ∞