Blog entry for:

in my continuing affairs: honest self-examination, reliance upon guidance and strength of the POWER that fuels my recovery, the framework of my life can be built on a solid foundation.
this is one of readings that evoke all sorts of different emotions in me. sometimes it is the cheerleader, rattling off bromides and bumper stickers like i am some sort automaton. sometimes it is anger at having to do this gig day in and day out, after all when do i get a break! sometimes gratitude at having dome enough of the right stuff to get the life i have been given. toady, it is pensive reflection as i rude the bus to Denver and prepare for the reinvention process to kick in.; truthfully, i have more than a little fear, as i am not the most talented or skilled member of my peers at this new gig. so i feel like running away and looking for a better position, before they discover where i really sit in the talent heap. where does the reading fit into that? well it reminds me that everyday to date, since i started my recovery process, has led me to where i am! the POWER that fuels my recovery put me here for some reason, my job is to accept that this IS THE opportunity for me, right here and right now and in three or six months i will see where i am. right now, i NEED to do my best to become part of this team and allow myself the chance to grow professionally as well as socially, as this is the first BIG team i have had to become part of since i got clean. i have a foundation built. i have a program in place. i have the resources necessary to grow into the shoes i am going to be required to fill. most importantly i have FAITH that i will be given access to skills that i never dreamed i had, IF I ALLOW all of that to work in my life, today.
the question is HOW DO IO KNOW THIS!?
by examining the preponderance of evidence. i graduated with my degree with a decent 3.0 GPA, when i never thought i could succeed at CU and actually thought of leaving short of my goal on many a dark restless night back in those days. i left my family business and was successful for a time at my own, even though that was way out of my comfort zone. i established a loving relationship with a Kathy, even though i had failed at relationships over and over again across the course of my life. and in my darkest hour. i was given what i needed to get back on my feet. this job is part of that and my task is to do my best to accept this gift, do my best to live up to this opportunity and thrive, after all everything i need to do that is already part of my life.
so on that note i think i will read the news and slide on down into denver, remembering that bi am exactly where i need to be today.

∞ DT ∞