Blog entry for:

okay, the real news of my life, is that i have been working far too many hours at work, granting other people far to much power and attending far too few meetings. no yellow journalism or fake news there. while it is true, that i am not “happy” about the state of my recovery foundation these days, i choose to accept the facts for what they are, and they are not all that “positive.” one more thing before i start into what i heard this morning is a call-out to all those constitutional lawyers out there, to show me where in the constitution the right to threaten public safety by not taking mandated precautions, is written. and so it goes…
what exactly did i “hear” this morning? well like most mornings, i am not quite sure. i am certainly not filled with angst about the new president or what number 45 may do or say, which is quite nice for a change. i did have a feeling that maybe, just maybe, things are going to be alright, as long as i take care of myself. returning to my default plan of the day and opening to hear and feel what is going on around me, and doing my best to allow the world to spin as it will.
it is also true, that i have been lacking in any sort of gratitude for what i have and what i can do on a daily basis. i still “get to” work out and pound the miles of concrete around my home town. i still get to watch football and stretch my development wings as the scores roll by. i still get to choose what i eat and where i live. no matter how dark and locked-down the world around me gets, i still have the opportunity to see it for what it is, a minor inconvenience until something changes. i am not owed anything, except for the opportunity to live a life in recovery. i am not entitled to have things easy and walk through my life unaffected by those around me. when i make the choice to allow myself to be okay with all of that, i can return to recovery “foundation.” for me, these days that means doing steps one, two and three before i get out of bed, taking twenty minutes to listen for the answers to the questions i do not realize i am asking and spending time at the end of my day to review my behaviors, actions, thoughts and feelings, looking for the stuff i want to repeat and the garbage i need to surrender over into the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery, after admitting where i was wrong.
on that happy note, i think i will suit up and hit the streets, before football really kicks off. it is a great day to be healthy enough to work out and to take the precautions necessary to keep myself and those around me, healthy as well. healthy, at least for me, means that physically i can do what i want to do. emotionally, that i am not torn apart by what pops-up on my TWITTER and Facebook feeds. and spiritually, feeling a connection to the program that allows me the FREEDOM to choose, just for today.

∞ DT ∞