Blog entry for:
Tue, Nov 22, 2005 05:50:41 AM
α cracks in my foundation? ω
posted: Tue, Nov 22, 2005 05:50:41 AM
thinking about the reading and what has already occurred since i woke up this morning, i am surprised that i am not in a state of pure panic at this time, in fact i am surprisingly calm and accepting of what i need to do. i usually would have been so pissed off and obsessed that even writing something like this would be beyond my capabilities.
so my question to me is what is right with me this morning? yes it is true that my computer at home forgot how to boot to the hard drive over night.
yes it is true that i have an additional sixty customers to add my company‘s mailing list so i can print labels. yes it is true that i have tons of side work to accomplish over the next week both paid and unpaid. yes it is true that my laptop is no longer powerful enough to do what i need it to do.yes it is true that i have to once again give away my time to a person who i really dread even thinking about. yes it is true that i have no idea of when and what i am going to do give as presents for this upcoming holiday season. and yes it is true that i have been obsessed with buying something for the past couple of days. but none of this is affecting the peace i have this morning and the only thing i can attribute this inner satisfaction to is the work i have done on myself via the process of the steps.
looking over my somewhat lengthy list of things i could be upset about today, i can see them for what they are -- minor annoyances that will be dealt with one by one in the order they need to be dealt with. i can choose to fly off the handle and rail about them or i can choose to back to one of the fundamental principles of the program that is teaching me how to live -- realize that i am powerless over all of the manifestations of my disease, and my life is unmanageable as a result. with that acceptance comes the hope that not only can i do what i need to today, i can maintain a connection with the divine and allow that power to work its magic in my life.
so are there cracks in the foundation of my recovery? probably not but a quick yet thorough inspection is never a bad exercise.
∞ DT ∞
so my question to me is what is right with me this morning? yes it is true that my computer at home forgot how to boot to the hard drive over night.
yes it is true that i have an additional sixty customers to add my company‘s mailing list so i can print labels. yes it is true that i have tons of side work to accomplish over the next week both paid and unpaid. yes it is true that my laptop is no longer powerful enough to do what i need it to do.yes it is true that i have to once again give away my time to a person who i really dread even thinking about. yes it is true that i have no idea of when and what i am going to do give as presents for this upcoming holiday season. and yes it is true that i have been obsessed with buying something for the past couple of days. but none of this is affecting the peace i have this morning and the only thing i can attribute this inner satisfaction to is the work i have done on myself via the process of the steps.
looking over my somewhat lengthy list of things i could be upset about today, i can see them for what they are -- minor annoyances that will be dealt with one by one in the order they need to be dealt with. i can choose to fly off the handle and rail about them or i can choose to back to one of the fundamental principles of the program that is teaching me how to live -- realize that i am powerless over all of the manifestations of my disease, and my life is unmanageable as a result. with that acceptance comes the hope that not only can i do what i need to today, i can maintain a connection with the divine and allow that power to work its magic in my life.
so are there cracks in the foundation of my recovery? probably not but a quick yet thorough inspection is never a bad exercise.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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‰ as i start functioning in society ‰ 737 words ➥ Monday, November 22, 2010 by: donnot
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⁄ i will take care to lay a secure foundation for my recovery ⁄ 563 words ➥ Thursday, November 22, 2012 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
2) When the mother is found, we know what her children should be.
When one knows that he is his mother's child, and proceeds to guard
(the qualities of) the mother that belong to him, to the end of his
life he will be free from all peril.