Blog entry for:

well, it has already been a full morning, and i am not even at work yet! as i complete my journey dawn to the big city, i have a few minutes to dash off some, semi-random musings about the nature of addiction and the simplicity the solution that works for me. i really hate that old saying that this is an simple program but not easy. even as i type it, i still have this disgust with using it, unfortunately like most truisms, it is what it is, and this morning it is most appropriate.
i know that as a machine, the mechanical part of a human being is among the most complex in the world. pile on the whole mental and emotional complexity of this organic machine and add self-awareness, and the complexity expands beyond belief. now put all those complex machines in a space together and give them free-will and what i see is a recipe for certain disaster as the available resources diminish. on top of that add the rigors of addiction and what i am left with, when i look at me, is something that is certainly beyond any rational planning or imagination. with that in mind, i am grateful that there is a tried method for simplifying my life and providing me the means to get along in such a tricky situation. active addiction, stripped me of appropriate reactions, and desires and left me with nothing but a beats inside, that continually NEEDED to be fed. recovery has given me the means to calm that beats and put it to sleep, in the her and now. it also continues to give me a way to live with all the chaos that is the everyday world, all i have to do is do what was done by those who came before me. so as i hit the bus station, i will end with this, i am grateful i have a simple program to deal with this complex person.
so several hours later:
not a whole lot more to write, so i think i will post and move on

∞ DT ∞