Some memes

attractions, virtues, and abilities, and yet i have limitations, vices, and liabilities.one of those liabilities is the desire to go through any given day with no mistakes, missteps, or faux pas. yes, my desire to be as perfect as possible, leads to all sorts of consequences, the worst one being the amount of abuse i get to pile upon myself. that is quite a pay off and it also plays well with the direction my step work happen to be taking me. for whatever reason, somewhere in the past i got the notion that if i could not be perfect, i deserved to be upbraided denigrated and abused. living in that manner, has been tolerable up until it is not and i am more than ready to leave that in the trash bin of my discarded past luggage.
this afternoon, as i have completed all of my Sunday chores and commitments to myself, i am ready to get out of the house and chill for an afternoon of football and cigars. i know my days of doing a whole lot of nothing are coming to an end, as my part time job is about to get much closer to full-time. i can accept that as a consequence of working where i am working, as life goes on and i knew that day may come. i am, however, not going to live in the tomorrow and am going to do my best to return to the here and now. i know today that i cannot be perfect. i know that in this moment, at least for this moment, i can let go of the desire to perform perfectly and live as a human being. i may cosplay gods and super heroes in AI, but i am just another recovering addict, doing his best to live an active program of recovery, just for today.

∞ DT ∞