Blog entry for:

after exhausting these ways, i begin sharing with others and find hope. okay, so i wrote this on the bus, and technology failed. what a rude awakening! anyhow, as i was walking from the bus station to work, i has a flash of what i really needed to write about, and it certainly was not about the feelings i had about how to get to work today. no what is going on, is i am feeling judgmental and before i puke all over someone, i guess i need to use this forum as a place to sort through them.
even though i have a fire to deal with, i will work through right here and right now. i do believe that peddling substances to those who are weak or new in their recovery program IS WORSE than stealing from other members. i can go through my reasons, but in the end, the truth is that i have to confront my feelings, and realize that like addiction, other addicts and their addiction, i am powerless over them.
the question then becomes, can i put aside my judgements and give away my recovery to someone i have very little respect left for? well that question will be answered or not as this day goes on. what i need to do today is call my addict, fix a few fires and be at peace, that as powerless as i am over my feelings, i can allow myself the ability to let the POWER that fuels my recovery give me what i need to move forward and become more than i was yesterday.

∞ DT ∞