Blog entry for:

i have to work the steps if i expect to stay clean and recover.
this little ditty, may or may not get posted before i get to the land of the sun and beyond, that will be up to the vagaries of Wi-FI my determination together it done. What I am seeing though is that this will be a grammar fight with the word processing program, but this morning after the rude awakening that American Airlines do charge for international bags, even if you have their magic credit card, if you are going to a vacation destination. Of course it was in the “fine print” and I could let the burn stay with me all day. Yes I could, but I think now that I have written about it and put out what farging scumbags they are, I feel better and when I post this to the interwebs I will feel even better. The fact is, this is the last flight on American I will be taking to a resort destination, I will use a more consumer friendly airline next time. The fifty dollar burn was quite a rude awakening this morning, the spiritual awakening is that I can whine about it, not take it out on the employees behind the desk and move on. The very first rude awakening I ever had, and why I am time-tripping way back when, I do not know, was when my second sponsor told me, that he did not care if I ever worked a step, after all he was not going to use over it. Man did that chap my hide at the time, and I see the same look on the men I sponsor when I repeat that little truism. What it has come to mean for mean, is that no one can do my recovery work for me. Sure when I work through a step with one of my sponsees, I have a very similar experience as them, almost as if I was working the step vicariously through them. What I do not get is a honest experience of the step working me, no matter how well and how empathetic the experience, it still belongs to them and not to me.time and again as I work a step cycle, I get the satisfaction of doing the work and getting the results. The same is true for just about everything else in my life, virtual reality is only fantasy. I got y on pretending to recover, for one stretch in my life, and in the end it came down to a choice, do the work or walk away. I have many men in the situation and who have made a different decision than I made on that fateful night, when I decided to ask someone to sponsor me.
So after a brief hiatus to get on board and in the air, I can see that I am still burning over the luggage fees. So once more I need to ask the POWER that fuels me recovery to take the heat, the burn and the feelings of Niger away from me. American Airlines just plain suck at your wallet like a black hole of money grubbing leeches, taking and taking until there is nothing left, AVOID AMERICAN AIRLINES at all costs, because they will find a way to tack more on your bill, which means do I pay for their WI-FI, which is quite ridiculous as well $3.00 for 30 minutes and $9.95 for the entire flight. Yup nickel and dime I cannot wait to be offered a beverage to see what they want to ding me for, again.
So I guess I am demonstrating what a cheap bastard I can be at times. Not one of my more endearing traits and certainly not one I need to keep living out, as I am on vacation, I am a tourist and I do have the means to enjoy my vacation. Not sure when I am going to go live with this blog, but for now, I am okay with the rat bastard American Airlines, at least until I get to Phoenix and I see what happens.

∞ DT ∞