โ rude awakenings in recovery? such an awakening might occur when some undesirable bit of my behavior is โฆ
Posted: Thu, Mar 5, 2009 09:02:06 AM
...suddenly revealed for all the world to see. or what happens most of the time for me, is that what the whole world sees, i finally catch on to.
YARGH!
i wish i was not always the last to know, but as one of the men i sponsor has become overly fond of saying, "it is what it is!"
that being said, in general all of my rude awakenings have ended up being more than beneficial for me, in both the long run and even <GASP> the short run. yes, it takes time to regain my composure and balance after such an event.. and unlike recovery, rude awakenings for me are events rather than processes. which given their nature make total sense. i like to believe, however, that i have what is going on inside me and in my recovery, well not in hand, but at least a good working knowledge of the process. so the rude part for me is when that nice little delusion is shattered and i have to face the world as it is, within and without me.
as i sit here, today, finally coming to terms with my last little rude bombshell, well actually cleaning up the leftover detritus from that explosion, i am struck by the depth and breadth of these awakenings in my life. no longer are they minor little inconveniences the way they were way back when, or perhaps that is putting a bit of nostalgic recall spin. i am sure that even way back when, these awakenings rocked my world as they do today, looking back, it just they just feel so minor compared to the immediacy and the pain of current events.
so yes i can be grateful for these events, because i am better off knowing than being ignorant.
anyhow, got get some stuff done before the winds pick-up -- so off to the showers. TTFN ;)
YARGH!
i wish i was not always the last to know, but as one of the men i sponsor has become overly fond of saying, "it is what it is!"
that being said, in general all of my rude awakenings have ended up being more than beneficial for me, in both the long run and even <GASP> the short run. yes, it takes time to regain my composure and balance after such an event.. and unlike recovery, rude awakenings for me are events rather than processes. which given their nature make total sense. i like to believe, however, that i have what is going on inside me and in my recovery, well not in hand, but at least a good working knowledge of the process. so the rude part for me is when that nice little delusion is shattered and i have to face the world as it is, within and without me.
as i sit here, today, finally coming to terms with my last little rude bombshell, well actually cleaning up the leftover detritus from that explosion, i am struck by the depth and breadth of these awakenings in my life. no longer are they minor little inconveniences the way they were way back when, or perhaps that is putting a bit of nostalgic recall spin. i am sure that even way back when, these awakenings rocked my world as they do today, looking back, it just they just feel so minor compared to the immediacy and the pain of current events.
so yes i can be grateful for these events, because i am better off knowing than being ignorant.
anyhow, got get some stuff done before the winds pick-up -- so off to the showers. TTFN ;)
∞ DT ∞