Blog entry for:

the simple fact that i even found recovery is amazing and without a doubt a miracle. the reading today suggests that i acknowledge the miracle of my recovery. i am sure that it does not mean shout it out in a public forum (although i already do). what i believe the suggestion means is to me is that i need to serve my recovery by sharing honestly about the many miracles that make up the miracle of my recovery.
the first of these is the FACT that i have been abstinent from using for two thousand eight hundred and fifty eight days almost one third of the time i used and over half the amount of time i had clean before i picked up the first time.
i also have accomplished a few things in my personal life and accumulated a few responsibilities. people allow me to be part of their lives, and actually want to spend their precious time with me. my bills are all current and i have actually learned to save a buck or two. i have paid, in advance, for ten days in paradise in september by saving a few dollars and putting off immediate gratification, i have had the privilege of serving the fellowship that saved my life and actually have a daily contact with the divine.
yes it is true that the longer i stay clean the less i seem to know, that insanity is still present and i have been known to act-out on a character defect or three but you know the number of people i hurt these days is a order of magnitude or two less than when i was using.
so all in all, the greatest miracle is my recovery in and of itself. i am so grateful that fateful day way back when that circumstances forced me to consider finding a new way to live and even the way i got here is nothing short of miraculous -- but that is a topic for another day!
∞ DT ∞