ยฑ i seek knowledge in my prayers and meditation ยฑ
Posted: Sun, Aug 24, 2014 12:32:40 PM
of how i am to greet the circumstances that come my way.
ROUND 2:
okay, so i could try and reconstruct what i had written before, but i am taking it as some sort of indication, that is not what i needed to be writing about. what first struck me earlier today, before all the events and stuff i packed into this morning, was the part of thee reading where it spoke of “instant miracles.” some of my peers seem to still ask for this sort of event from the POWER that fuels their recovery and implore me to join in prayer with them, asking for that result. once upon a time, i would have done so without question, as that wars part of who i was, after all i had a borrowed HIGHER POWER and all the trappings that went with that POWER. there was a time when i would have been pissed off and caalled them out for being superstitious peasants, but that was the person i was when i walked into the rooms, a few days and a few steps have removed that need from me as well.
today, i quietly accept that others may have the need to look at the divine in such a manner and can let it go. me, that is not at all what i see the spiritual side of my life as, and that too is more than okay, as how i see the POWER that fuels my recovery and how that POWER is expressed in my life, is based on my personal experience strength and hope. the fact that i have removed any human attributes, emotions and actions from my view of thee POWER that fuels my recovery, is irrelevant to anyone else. i know that somehow, i am given what i need to stay clean today. i know that it is my job to look for and listen for the clues, to see the opportunities to get what i need and sometimes even what i want. my job is to be present and act on those opportunities and stop whining about how i do not get what i want or seem to need.
anyhow the time has come to get headed over to fantasy land, be social and remember that i am far from a perfect being either. yes, i have a POWER that fuels my recovery. yes, that POWER speaks to me through my interactions with others. BUT, more importantly i have FAITH, that IF i choose to let go of my expectations i can be a better person than i was yesterday.
ROUND 2:
okay, so i could try and reconstruct what i had written before, but i am taking it as some sort of indication, that is not what i needed to be writing about. what first struck me earlier today, before all the events and stuff i packed into this morning, was the part of thee reading where it spoke of “instant miracles.” some of my peers seem to still ask for this sort of event from the POWER that fuels their recovery and implore me to join in prayer with them, asking for that result. once upon a time, i would have done so without question, as that wars part of who i was, after all i had a borrowed HIGHER POWER and all the trappings that went with that POWER. there was a time when i would have been pissed off and caalled them out for being superstitious peasants, but that was the person i was when i walked into the rooms, a few days and a few steps have removed that need from me as well.
today, i quietly accept that others may have the need to look at the divine in such a manner and can let it go. me, that is not at all what i see the spiritual side of my life as, and that too is more than okay, as how i see the POWER that fuels my recovery and how that POWER is expressed in my life, is based on my personal experience strength and hope. the fact that i have removed any human attributes, emotions and actions from my view of thee POWER that fuels my recovery, is irrelevant to anyone else. i know that somehow, i am given what i need to stay clean today. i know that it is my job to look for and listen for the clues, to see the opportunities to get what i need and sometimes even what i want. my job is to be present and act on those opportunities and stop whining about how i do not get what i want or seem to need.
anyhow the time has come to get headed over to fantasy land, be social and remember that i am far from a perfect being either. yes, i have a POWER that fuels my recovery. yes, that POWER speaks to me through my interactions with others. BUT, more importantly i have FAITH, that IF i choose to let go of my expectations i can be a better person than i was yesterday.
∞ DT ∞