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and because of that, most of the time i miss getting the answer for quite a while. it is kind of like when the cravings to use left me. it was almost six months without a single craving before i realized that they had been removed. and the most ironic part of that whole gift was before the obsession to use was lifted from me, several times a day i had to do what ever it took not to succumb to the feelings that i needed to use.
so how do i really know what is GOD’s will for me? well when it is not don’s will, things work out with very little effort on my part. not that i am saying that GOD’s will is always the easier, softer path. no, just that most of the time it is the path of least resistance.
so how do i hear the voice of the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS? well it usually comes subtly from the people who happen to cross my path in any given period. they talk about what is going on in their lives and it parallels what is going on in mine. or something that i was struggling to comprehend is suddenly explained by an unexpected source. or issues that i was whining about just get resolved, sometimes in manner that on the surface appear to detrimental to me, but in the long run work out just the way i wanted them to originally.
so my "signs" are evident every single day, if i choose to open my eyes and look for them. and that is the crux of the problem, becoming aware of what is going on outside the eighteen inches of personal space i claim for my own. after all, there are more things going on than i can account for in any philosophy that i currently possess.

∞ DT ∞