Blog entry for:

to make things come out my way, or i can surrender to the will of my HIGHER POWER. peace can be found in accepting the ebb and flow of life.
an choice was what this morning seems to be all about. i woke up way too early this morning and tried to fight against getting up. in fact i was determined to go back to sleep and get another ninety minutes of snooze time. i tossed, i turned, i fought back the urge to get up and i got exactly no more sleep. not that my mind was racing or anything, as a matter of fact it was quite easy to empty all thoughts from my head and achieve a nice quiet peace between my ears. it was my body that was quite ready to face the day, and the physical part of me, was fighting the mental part of me, so finally i surrendered and got up. did i whine and moan about being up so early? of course i did, DAMMIT i think i need more than six hours sleep! but eventually accepted the gift of the extra hours and got some work done.
so i wonder what this has to do with surrendering top the will of my HIGHER POWER, and asking for only.....
well for one, i can accept that my expectation of eight or nine hours of sleep may not be realistic, ARGHHHH. and as a corollary to that thought, my expectations about what i can accomplish in a day or even before i run away for a week’s worth of fellowship fun, are probably unrealistic also.
so i NEED to listen to what is going on inside me, and around me, and match my expectations to the reality of the situation. that reality is hardly influenced by my will, except the misery i accept when i try and bend that reality to match my expectations. acceptance, for me, at least this morning, means altering my expectations to fit reality. that is the path to living serenely in this moment, and perhaps the next moments that will make up this set of moments while i am actively living.
so enough of the philosophy and off to play a bit of my new old game to relax before getting back to poundingh the keyboard.

∞ DT ∞