Blog entry for:

of this mess, right NOW! as i grow in my spiritual path, i do not know whether to cringe or roll on the floor laughing my ass off, when i look at the relationship i have had with the POWER that fuels my recovery, over the course of my recovery journey. i am not about to rehash that right now, as it is all over this corpus of daily postings. i will say that rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off, seems to be the best reaction. 🤣 reliving through those past incarnations and misunderstandings is one thing, and when one looks as this path as a journey, one might even come to agree with me, when i say, all of that was necessary for me to arrive where i am today.
as often happens on Saturdays, i run out of time before i have to take off to my home group meeting. what also happen a whole lot, is that what was on my mind earlier this morning gets superseded by some of the themes i heard shared at the meeting. what is coming up now, is the fact that the gift my ELEVENTH STEP has given me, is more than a little bit of quiet in my life. i often take that for granted, even though this time in my annual cycle is usually characterized by a great deal of “unquiet.” as i approach the anniversary of my clean date, i generally feel “ less than” my peers, especially when it comes to the whole conscious contact and asking for knowledge of GOD's will for me. this year after committing to sitting a little bit longer on a daily basis, i have a huge amount of what is not in my life: strife, stress and chaos. it is not as if those were huge parts of my life prior to my re-commitment, but what part they did play has been significantly reduced and i GET to be present for what is.
what certainly is, is the messes that i have created are becoming manageable and i am actually feeling cared for, in some sense anyhow. it also is bolstering my FAITH in the process of recovery i have become accustomed to living. i do have some stuff to take care of and an obsession with Fantasy Football to fulfill, so just for right now, i will go with what i have and leave the rest up to the powers that be.

∞ DT ∞