Blog entry for:

as an addict and a human being, there are times in my life when everyone knows that i have passed through and wished that i had not. since the core of my disease is selfish self-centeredness and because i lack the patience to wait for what i think i need, many of my interactions with those i love and those i encounter in my daily life are less than stellar.
being willing to look at the damage i do in the course of my daily affairs is not something that comes naturally for me. i am not the first to volunteer when i have to amend that damage. so the reading this morning applied on a couple of different levels of my life -- my ongoing recovery process, and my upcoming formal eighth step. what it says to me directly today, is that although i may cause harm, that i have to be willing to look at the harm i caused and figure out how to amend the damage i have created. i can no longer wait until my next eighth step to do this because i expect myself to adhere to a higher standard and that standard was set when i was given the tools of the tenth step daily inventory.
yes i want to fully enjoy the company of my fellows, and yes i want them to enjoy my company, so i have to do my part by becoming willing to repair the damage i do on a daily basis, and learn to live in a manner where the amount of damage i cause is trivial.
and for me, just for toady that is more than enough!
∞ DT ∞