Blog entry for:

of my relationships with my family, my peers, my friends and my loved ones, is an excellent choice for a topic to write about this morning, as it was on my mind as i sat last night and certainly front and center when i awoke. the daily readings are sometimes like daily horoscopes for me, i can make whatever the topic happens to be, “fit” the current circumstances of my life, so when it ironically aligns to what is on the top of my stack, i find it more than a bit disturbing. before i get too far down that road:

Brad D
Fourteen (14) years clean!
Congrats on doing this gig, JUST for TODAY.

as hard as i try and deny it, i am not the most spiritual kid on the block. the simple fact of my life is, that if i find someone the slightest bit “unlikable” i have a tendency to walk away. over the course of the last nine months or so, one of my peers, that i enjoyed spending time with, has morphed into that category, to the point that i take great pains to avoid spending any time with them. i am of the opinion that my phone is a distraction in meetings and many social situations and should never take precedence over what is happening in the here and now. so i get all butt-hurt when someone values their screen time more than they value my time with them in a social setting. naturally, at least for me, what that means is that i take this slight as a symptom of something greater and work on gathering the evidence to convict the perpetrator of a host of socially felonious sins. it really is not hard to find examples of total disregard for others in the behaviors of others, as that is what i find in myself,, even with some clean time. all of a sudden i have built a case out of these random and disparate incidents and <BOOM> i am ready to give up something i once found enjoyable.
all of this came down upon my head last night as i sat and when i tried to reach out, i used an old phone number and my text arrived on the phone of someone who does not know me. i hardly find it appropriate to text someone at six o'clock in the AM, unless i know they are early risers, like me. what that means i that during the day today, i will need to admit i am wrong and see what i can do to “repair” the relationship i have damaged. no one deserves to live in the state of double-secret probation. yeah, it sucks having to say i am at fault and while i am not looking to renew a friendship, at least i will be able to be in the same room with them and “listen” to what they are saying.

∞ DT ∞