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even i experience conflicts. some i deal with very well, and some, well some i end up having to go back and exercise the corrective part of my TENTH STEP on. i can honestly say, that for most conflict arises from expectations and entitlements. i EXPECT someone to do such and such, because that is what i would do if i was them. i entitled to certain things in my life, such as “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” for example. lately it has been my friends and peers that have been showing me how far i have come and sad to say how far i have yet to go.
how are they showing me, the things i do not want to see? by just being who they are. EXPECTING, ASSUMING and WHINING, as is their wont and to their best abilities. of course the judge goes off ion my head: “WTF, who do they thing they are?” BOOM, part of me that is still way too human has been revealed, because if that was not the case, why would i care?
as i “re-boot” my relationship with a former sponsee and a friend, i am struck by what i perceive as some effort on his part. honestly, i do not have that much HOPE for him, as i already see him slipping back into the same behaviors, as he always does when he is a guest of the Boulder County Sheriff, but i can also give him the benefit of the doubt. when i write him this week, it will be more focused on relationship, ours, specifically, and the direct he will need to go, if he is truly sincere about fostering that relationship. it is not that i want it to be conflict free, although part of me thinks that idyllic situation is exactly what i want, no what i want it to be,m is a relationship of equals and of respect, and not some sort of Santa Clause doling out treats to the “nice” kiddies. just to be clear, it is not him who plays the role of Santa Claus!
anyhow, i have a few things to accomplish today. some eggs to fry and a little bit more. part of my pursuit of happiness today is to do nothing at all, after HIGH NOON, today, if i can possibly arrange to do so. it is a great day to be clean and a better day to face the world as an equal.

∞ DT ∞