Blog entry for:

here i sit, on the California coast, getting ready to head home as the thunder rumbles and the rain falls on and off. the question that came up during my quiet time was this: “would i have ever had seen this place of geography, had i still been using?” the answer is probably not, well maybe, but i would not have had the resources to do all the touristy stuff i GOT to do, nor would i have ended up being so relaxed and stress-less even with a day of traveling ahead of me.
i often say i have no dreams left, as they have all been fulfilled, but in actuality, i more than likely i have dreams still rolling around inside of me, that just have not come to the surface yet. i really never has the conscious desire to come to Monterrey California, and yet here i am. zip-lining through the redwoods? sea-kayaking in Monterrey bay? driving the 17 mile drive to Pebble Beach or spending an afternoon in Carmel-By-The-Sea? no, no and still no, none of that stuff was on my radar 18 years ago, much less even a year ago, and yet, i thoroughly enjoyed all of those activities and have some pictures and memories to prove it. when they say, dreams can come true, IF i do the gig, stay clean and live a program of recovery, they are certainly correct. when i think f where i have gone, what i have done and where i might GET to still go, i truly get awestruck with this amazing deal. yes, here comes the cheerleader, RAH-RAH CIS-BOOM-BAH, recovery is so friggin#39; great!
sorry about that chief, just had a blonde moment. yes realizing that i even have dreams is quite a stretch for this cynical old guy. ye, i may see the darker side of life and paint it as a reality based vision. yes, i may even get to the point where i am certain that none of this was even possible without the structure of the 12 STEPS and their attendant spiritual principles. yes as i stay clean, celebrate another day clean and find the strength to deal with all that i need to deal with, i am still quite certain there is no justice in this world, after all, i got far more and far less justice than i deserved, but i am sure there is mercy. after all…
well, with the flurry of activity surrounding me, perhaps it is time to wind this down and start being a part of cleaning up, packing up and get rolling down or towards my final destination tonight.

∞ DT ∞