๐ creating the way ๐
Posted: Tue, Jul 23, 2019 07:31:09 AM
back to a condition of peace with the world, is certainly a great way to look at letting go of my self-will. i often go through this exercise trying to decide if any plan i make, anything i am thinking of buying any time i am taking off from work or if any meeting i am choosing to skip is acting contrary to the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery. what ends up happening is i cycle round and round and never ever reach a decision, instead of allowing myself the time to just “feel the answer. i seem to have a tendency to way over-think stuff and as a result do nothing instead, missing out on the opportunity that i am currently being presented. what i “heard” this morning, was to let go of trying to puzzle out the secret to the coding exercise i am doing for a job opportunity and allow myself to be present for what needs to happen today at work. great work when i can get it. of course, i want to stop letting go and start researching the implementation, rather than being okay knowing that the solution will not elude me, once i can concentrate on it.
moving into the next thing on my stack. it seems to me, that over the course of the past four days, i have been severely all “pink-cloudy” and “yippy-skippy,” seemingly suppressing my innate cynicism. as i sat this morning, this observation rose to the top of the stack as well. the conclusion that i reached, was that what i felt and wrote about during the weekend with my cousins and partner, was a valid reflection of what i was feeling. the gratitude i felt for a program of recovery was genuine. letting go of my “audition” until today also feels genuine and taking on a new sponsee, feels like the next right thing to do as well. i am sure there are 500 e-mails that will need to be addressed at work, but for the next hour or so, i will put them on the back-burner and when i arrive at the office, i will get on with being present for my employer. for right here and right now, i can breathe and finish off my time off with a bit of grace.
finally, i see that not doing some stuff, is certainly a good plan of action for right now. not pushing to get to work early. not hammering home my cynical viewpoint, to prove how well “balanced” i am not. just being okay in this moment, and yes feeling a bit of gratitude for sleeping in my own very comfortable space last night, is certainly a good way to uncovering a path back to some sort of peace with the world, just for today. in sixty minutes, who can know what will change.
moving into the next thing on my stack. it seems to me, that over the course of the past four days, i have been severely all “pink-cloudy” and “yippy-skippy,” seemingly suppressing my innate cynicism. as i sat this morning, this observation rose to the top of the stack as well. the conclusion that i reached, was that what i felt and wrote about during the weekend with my cousins and partner, was a valid reflection of what i was feeling. the gratitude i felt for a program of recovery was genuine. letting go of my “audition” until today also feels genuine and taking on a new sponsee, feels like the next right thing to do as well. i am sure there are 500 e-mails that will need to be addressed at work, but for the next hour or so, i will put them on the back-burner and when i arrive at the office, i will get on with being present for my employer. for right here and right now, i can breathe and finish off my time off with a bit of grace.
finally, i see that not doing some stuff, is certainly a good plan of action for right now. not pushing to get to work early. not hammering home my cynical viewpoint, to prove how well “balanced” i am not. just being okay in this moment, and yes feeling a bit of gratitude for sleeping in my own very comfortable space last night, is certainly a good way to uncovering a path back to some sort of peace with the world, just for today. in sixty minutes, who can know what will change.
∞ DT ∞