Blog entry for:

and goals for my life means thinking for myself, although without spiritual guidance it can quickly morph into thinking of myself, only. it is true that many hours and a morning full of activity has passed since i sat and listened, after reading this entry. i know that when i got up and started eating my breakfast, i was on the fence about what to do with my morning. my choices were to take it easy by walking the dawg, or attempting my Mount Sanitas summit from the goat trail and back again. i chose the latter and am grateful that i did. it has been three weeks since i last did my fourteener training and it certainly showed up in my pulse rate. what is generally a “fat burn” activity was mostly cardio for a change, which is not surprising given my lack of strenuous activity on vacation. my time was good which means i still “have it.”
as i sat and listened to my peers share at my home group, what bubbled up to the surface was how attached i am to what is now missing in action, my suitcase full of dirty clothes, including some of my favorite “trip” T-shirts and purchases. even though i have grown out of envy and jealousy over what others may have, i still am clinging to the notion of how unjust it was that my luggage did not arrive in Denver with me and how it has yet to be found. i do not consider myself to be “materialistic,” in fact i have already come to the place that when i buy something new, something old must go. i have been religious in implementing that strategy, but i am selective about what goes. now that a whole bunch of my stuff is MIA, i am more than a bit upset and yes, angry at the seemingly random nature of this event. do i have any power over my feelings? not in the slightest bit, but i can choose to feel them and let them go, instead of hanging on them and building up some sort of resentment at the baggage handlers in Dublin and Iceland, who put my bag on the wrong plane. i am working on letting go of the feelings and coming to accept that what was once mine, may never return to my home. this is, however, a very slow process and as i incrementally let go, there is a bit of peace and serenity as my reward.
so it is on to my next task, a bit of better lawn care through the application of chemistry, now that the front has passed and the wind has calmed down a bit. after that, maybe a nap or some gaming or perhaps a trip to the cigar store to enjoy a quiet afternoon in an air-conditioned, smoke-filled room. i have choice today and no plans or goals about what to do next. i do know that i9f i allow myself a moment to collect my thoughts and pay attention to the world around me, the next right thing will appear before my eyes, just for today.

∞ DT ∞