๐ no human force ๐
Posted: Sat, Dec 26, 2020 12:04:24 PM
can give me all that i NEED to stay clean today and thrive. i am way off my beaten path after five days off from work and holidays. i have got a lot done since i woke up, asked for the power to stay clean and arrived at this point in my day. i want to get in the shower and i want to watch football and i want to get all my errands done, and yet here i am, taking care of my bidness by writing this little ditty. before i go too much further:
at the meeting this morning a theme that i heard over and over again was all about my peers needing a dependence on a HIGHER POWER, GOD, for lack of a better term. i am in the same boat as they are, as i could never stay clean for “someone” else, no matter how much they nagged at me or berated me for not being present for life. i asked for the power to stay clean today, from the POWER that fuels my recovery and came to believe that i would get everything i needed to stay clean today, from that POWER.
even with POWER backing me up, i still stumbled into a bit of judgement this morning, listening to some of my peers sharing their bumper stickers and clichés. i find it ironic that what i hear when some of my peers talk, is not in their wheelhouse to walk. when i go there, i have to do a quick inventory and decide what it is that i am not doing, even though i seem to have the desire to wax quite poetically about it. this morning it was not forgiving myself for having the DESIRE to look better than everyone else, by playing the “can you top this” game. i wanted to go there and chose not too, but some days, i am more like Jimmy Carter and sin without acting, although the “lust” i feel in my heart is for approval and strokes.
on that note, i think i will take me and the dawg out for a little tour of the neighborhood and see how the rest of my day plays out, just for today.
Mike C,
Eighteen (18) Years Clean.
Congrats my friend.
at the meeting this morning a theme that i heard over and over again was all about my peers needing a dependence on a HIGHER POWER, GOD, for lack of a better term. i am in the same boat as they are, as i could never stay clean for “someone” else, no matter how much they nagged at me or berated me for not being present for life. i asked for the power to stay clean today, from the POWER that fuels my recovery and came to believe that i would get everything i needed to stay clean today, from that POWER.
even with POWER backing me up, i still stumbled into a bit of judgement this morning, listening to some of my peers sharing their bumper stickers and clichés. i find it ironic that what i hear when some of my peers talk, is not in their wheelhouse to walk. when i go there, i have to do a quick inventory and decide what it is that i am not doing, even though i seem to have the desire to wax quite poetically about it. this morning it was not forgiving myself for having the DESIRE to look better than everyone else, by playing the “can you top this” game. i wanted to go there and chose not too, but some days, i am more like Jimmy Carter and sin without acting, although the “lust” i feel in my heart is for approval and strokes.
on that note, i think i will take me and the dawg out for a little tour of the neighborhood and see how the rest of my day plays out, just for today.
∞ DT ∞