Blog entry for:

is complicated! DUH, and spinach is a vegetable. i mean, sometimes the most obvious of truisms are the ones i stumble over and this one in particular has been popping up with far too much regularity lately. i really hate getting yelled at because someone cannot stop long enough to hear what i am saying and that i am not disagreeing with them. i may not demonstrate the same emotions or intensity as they are, but that does not mean i do not see what they see and understand what is going on. yesterday my brother was attempting to tell me that my Mom i slipping away mentally, emotionally and physically. i kept saying i know and it is part of her aging process. i guess he finally got a clue to what is going on, but my sister and i, who spent the greater part of the past three years with her on a daily basis, knew this was happening and that my Mom's time may just be coming to its end. i have already moved through all the phases of grief over watching her decline and am now accepting it for what it is, the natural conclusion to the choices she made twenty years ago, to sit down and to stop moving. i do not accept that as my fate, hence the desire to work out daily and keep active. it may not work, but at least i will be able to say that i gave it my best effort.

Mike C,
Congrats on XXI (Twenty-one) years, clean.

this morning as i sat and found the center of my serenity, i see that what i have been seeing, is just now revealing itself to others and i just have to allow them to find their center. i may not know what is going on with them, but i certainly know what is happening inside my own head and i hope that nothing untoward happens when i am incommunicado on the slopes of Kilimanjaro, although the is a part of me that feels as if that would be best for all involved, as terrible as that may sound. right here and right now, i have to get the dawg out for a bit of a walk and get back to work. it is a great day to be clean and a better day to listen and actually hear what i am being told, just for today.

∞ DT ∞