Blog entry for:

of perfection, is certainly an attribute i share with all humans. when i expect others to be perfect, i am setting myself up for a huge disappointment. that danger is exponentially greater when i expect myself to be perfect and perhaps that is the nature of the discomfort i have been feeling lately. expecting something from others and expecting the same from myself: PERFECTION. before i dive down into that well of notions and ideas, i do need to acknowledge someone who has done one thing perfectly:

Mike C, my friend and sponsee,
CONGRATS on NINETEEN (19) years clean!
Thank you for all that you give me.

what really has come up for me this morning, is how many true “snowflakes” that populate my life and public life. i do not kn ow where the notion that anything anyone says that may be the least bit critical needs to be smothered in “kind and loving” terms. nor do i understand that if i exercise my freedom of speech and get dissed or criticized for doing so, why i need to be so “butt hurt.” the Kum-By_Yah world of “safe zones” and needing protection from “disturbing realization,” baffles the living shit out of me. i may accept that is how it is today, but i certainly do not have to like it, nor do i have to fall into any of those traps. life is not meant to be soft and my self-esteem certainly does not need to depend on what others may think of me. if i wanted to live in a pillow world, i would still be using, where a little drop of poison would assuage my itsy-bitsy hurt feelings, at least for twenty minutes or so.
today, i took care of myself and asked a friend to help take car of my car. today, i know that i am an addict and i have to take extraordinary measures to keep my life from spinning down the tubes. today, i know that all that i need, i get from the POWER that fuels my recovery and the people who are part of my day-today life. it was a nice balance that three different drivers treated me with courtesy and respect at intersections, as i ran this morning, which more than makes up for the nasty little self-entitled “woman” who honked at me when i was exercising my legal right of way, yesterday. that may not be an indication of being in a “safe” zone, but it certainly reinforces my notion that most of my fellow humans are kind, considerate and live in the a world where kindness and courtesy are things that can be practiced. time for FOOTBALL!!

∞ DT ∞