๐ฌ clearing out ๐ซ
Posted: Tue, Jun 9, 2026 12:47:56 PM
the noise in my head helps me communicate better in all of my relationships. i really hate to admit that even after a very long minute clean, that source material such as this, still cuts me like a knife. it is certainly true that i am better at listening without the noise in my head, but i have yet to graduate to some Zen master that always listens with a void. the simple fact is that i will never be totally able to clear the noise out of my head, and that is an acceptance of being human. with that caveat out of the way, it is time to dive into what i “heard” this morning when i shut down for my daily twenty minute dip into the the quieting of the noise that fills my head.
as i rose form my meditation this morning, i realized that i spent more than a few minutes thinking about my new novel, even though i have two that are unfinished. both are fully written, start to finish, and waiting for revision and being set into proper form, but the new project that came from a silly image i created the other day, is occupying the creative space in my head. thank goodness do not have an editor or publisher hounding me for completion. that was noise and when it kept coming up, i knew that my direction was about to shift. nothing wrong with that, i am famous for not finishing what i start, especially stuff i am doing for myself that no one else will ever see. when i let go of that less than savory fact, i saw that when i get an idea, i seem to get obsessed by it and it takes over everything else. in simpler words, my obsession becomes the loudest noise in my head. i have been using the fact that writing is keeping my mind active just as running keeps my body active, my part-time job keeps my world active and daily recovery keeps my spiritual side active. what is wrong in that assumption is there is a lack of balance. i am using it for cover, rather than acknowledging it for what it is: noise that needs to be fit into my life, rather than taking it over.
so as i get ready to go to work, i know what my task needs to be: let go of obsession and restore a balance in my life. yes, i will keep writing and probably have yet another unfinished project. the noise in my head has risen to a level that is no longer sustainable or manageable. it is time for me to seek an exit ramp that allows the rest of my life to be full, instead of on hold.
as i rose form my meditation this morning, i realized that i spent more than a few minutes thinking about my new novel, even though i have two that are unfinished. both are fully written, start to finish, and waiting for revision and being set into proper form, but the new project that came from a silly image i created the other day, is occupying the creative space in my head. thank goodness do not have an editor or publisher hounding me for completion. that was noise and when it kept coming up, i knew that my direction was about to shift. nothing wrong with that, i am famous for not finishing what i start, especially stuff i am doing for myself that no one else will ever see. when i let go of that less than savory fact, i saw that when i get an idea, i seem to get obsessed by it and it takes over everything else. in simpler words, my obsession becomes the loudest noise in my head. i have been using the fact that writing is keeping my mind active just as running keeps my body active, my part-time job keeps my world active and daily recovery keeps my spiritual side active. what is wrong in that assumption is there is a lack of balance. i am using it for cover, rather than acknowledging it for what it is: noise that needs to be fit into my life, rather than taking it over.
so as i get ready to go to work, i know what my task needs to be: let go of obsession and restore a balance in my life. yes, i will keep writing and probably have yet another unfinished project. the noise in my head has risen to a level that is no longer sustainable or manageable. it is time for me to seek an exit ramp that allows the rest of my life to be full, instead of on hold.
∞ DT ∞