Blog entry for:

of what i may think, i always seem to get what i need. there are times when i may be correct and state it badly and there are times when i am just plain wrong, but cover my true motivations under a pile of spiritual camouflage. i have come to a place where if i have to use more than ten words to get an idea to fit under a spiritual principle or suggestion from my predecessors, i am pretty sure i am living in a moment of self-will. once upon a time, i was certain of all kinds of shit, these days, that certainty is gone and sometimes it is better to step away and focus my attention on other matters.
this morning i made a decision that has relieved a whole much ado over nothing. there are times in my life when i hold to things far too tightly, the place i reached last night as i did my TENTH STEP revealed i had arrived at that very state of being and it was time for me to let go and get out of the way. of course i had a little “speech” rehearsed and was going to have the “last word” no matter what. when it came time to do the deed, after sitting this morning, i let go of that need and simply said, “so long, and thanks for all the fish.”
right here and right now, i feel as if i dropped a huge chunk of matter off of my back. as i head on over to my home group, i am certain that i have done the next right thing and when asked, i will not have to go into details, explanations or rationalizations. in less than ten words i can say that: “it was the right thing for me to do.” i do not need approval, allies or have to work behind anyone's back. just for today.

∞ DT ∞