Blog entry for:

i create for myself, are still the ones i want to reach out and ask for resolution from some power greater than i am. yes even though taking responsibility for what i do and say is part of how i live today, oftentimes, i revert to that very comfortable and familiar behavior. unlike many in the world today, i understand that when i exercise my freedom of choice, there may be a consequence or three that is not to my liking. when i get reactions that do not fit in the “story” i have told myself, then i scream about the injustice of it all. i am not sure if that is a human trait that has been warped by addiction, or something else. what i do know, it is my job to understand that as free as i may be to say and do what i wish to, i have to be willing to accept that perhaps others do not see my particular and unique point of view.
after a restless night of thinking about my online assessment once again, i have decided to take the dang thing tomorrow afternoon, with a cigar in my mouth and music screaming in my ears. i figured out the second practice problem last night about a hundred times and even though my watch tells me i slept well, i hardly feel rested at all. my head spun on that solution all night. instead ow waiting for the weekend, i am going to step away from work for a few hours tomorrow and pound away at my solution to put this Sword of Damocles far, far away. i may have another nine months here at my current position, but since i started the process of seeking another job, i might as well see it through to its conclusion.
enough about looking for an “out.” today i want to focus on the “ins” and i am in my workplace, i am ready for a day of personal skill development and i am certain that no matter what, i can accomplish what i set out to do, just for today.

∞ DT ∞