Blog entry for:

those two words saved my life, well in reality, i used the word cease instead of quit, as it had a better connotation for me. i am all about language and precision in what i write and say is a hallmark of who i am these days. i start each and every morning with an admission of my powerlessness over addiction and ask the POWER that fuels my recovery for the power to stay clean. that does not mean that unconditionally surrender to anything, i merely choose not to fight addiction in all its various forms, just for today. that may sound a whole lot as if i am splitting hairs here, and it is, but back in the day, splitting that particular hair was something this addict needed to finally admit that i had had enough and was ready to try this recovery gig. force of habit, keeps me doing it still to this day and i am not too proud to admit that even after a minute clean, i take great comfort in knowing that i CHOOSE to cease fighting addiction, each day i decide to stay clean.
as i sat this morning, nothing bubbled up to the surface nor was i distracted by what i need to get done at work or my latest fantasy, winning a billion dollars. that peace has delivered me into a place of serenity and feeling connected to the world around me. i pay attention to what is going on and the passing of celebrities really has little effect on my state of being. i am sad, however about the loss of Soledar in Ukraine 🇺🇦 💪, perhaps it will provide the impetus for those freedom fighters to step up their game and for the West to provide them the tools to do just that. i am aghast that so-called American patriots are supporting the aggressors in this war, while wrapping themselves in the mantle of freedom and buying the bullshit that they are being fed by the propagandists. although my voice is small, i will continue to lend it to the chorus of those who support Ukraine against it oppressors.
oops, i have strayed into politics again when i was writing about my recovery. i know that anything that affects me and my recovery is certainly material to share about and unfortunately i am far too politically aware to let things sit in my ignore bin. a gift of recovery is no longer having the means or the desire to fuzz the world and live in a comfortable ignorant bliss. i do have the ways and means to acknowledge what i feel, live through it and move on. that too, is a gift of recovery and my commitment to be a better me, each and every day.i will take my piece of mind and my sadness on the road and get some miles under the soles of my running shoes. i know how to be better than i was yesterday and part of that is living up to my commitment to myself, spiritually, emotionally and physically, just for today.

∞ DT ∞