Blog entry for:

for optimism seemed like a stretch for me when i saw this headline this morning. i have always been one of those that believed that optimism was the same as denial or sugar-coating life on its own terms. i have been known to avoid those who always walk on the sunny side of the street,, because i judged them to be hiding something under the guise of optimism. that is still a part of who i am, so when i actually sat down and read the source material, i saw that i was practicing more optimism than i thought i was, as i do a down and dirty inventory of the things i find i am grateful for today.
i am still a cynic and although that may not be something to be proud of, i have come to a place of acceptance with that fact of life. what that means is that no matter how “yippy-skippy” i may be, there is always a touch of darkness, in what i offer. learning to live in the shades of gray has been quite a long journey for me and i still find myself gravitation towards those who live in a similar manner, rather than those who live on the extremes. when others tell me to “lighten up,” i have come to a place where i simply ignore them and go along my merry way, rather than disabuse them of the notion that i “need” to be lighter or see things in the same manner that they do. i have come to appreciate the diversity of how my peers look at life in general and even if i choose not to agree with them, i no longer need to be disagreeable.
as i prepare to grab my seat for the Super Bowl today, i know that i can be okay looking to a brighter future, the light at the end of the tunnel may not be a train and there just may not be another show waiting to drop. i am grateful that i am clean, i have the desire to stay clean and the physical ability to rehab my leg after putting it though the ringer on Kilimanjaro. things may not be as “good” as i desire, but they could be a whole lot worse and just for today, nothing in my life i worthy of me deciding that little drop of poison is what i “need” to take to get me through another day.

∞ DT ∞