๐ from time to time, ๐
Posted: Thu, Oct 16, 2025 12:18:42 PM
i struggle with new (or old) areas of my life where my nemesis of denial rears up again. of course, today i am justifying not getting on with my day, as i am sitting in my backyard, enjoying a cigar and playing with AI, as my laundry spin dries. the reality is that i really do not want to do anything today and the justification is i am retired so fuck it all. i know that is more that a bit of denial and getting this exercise done is now going to take precedence, as i have all day to play around.
what i am struggling with since the meeting yesterday is the fact that someone in an open meeting shared bit of someone else's FIFTH STEP. i am not sure who my peer got their information from and what upset me was that he shared something that was probably told to him in confidence and certainly was not meant for public consumption as i consider any revelations of anyone's FIFTH STEP are Not Safe For Sharing. once upon a time i would not have blinked twice at hearing that, as a matter of fact, i would have probably chased them down to get more of the juicy details. yesterday i was so appalled, that i retrained myself from sharing as i would have done more than a bit of addressing the issue head on, in a fit of pique. no denial here, i was more than a bit “triggered” and ready to react in a manner that would have required an admission of being wrong.
my reaction came up in my daily inventory and was still on my mind as i sat this morning. writing about it is helping me to let it go and i wonder if i really need to say anything to anyone else about it, as i shared the whole event and my reaction with my spouse when i got home yesterday. i know there is still more work for me to do, to let it go and chalk it up to someone who really did not consider what they were sharing in an open meeting. the worst part is that they should know better and i wonder how they would feel if their dirty little secrets were shared by someone they trusted in an open meeting.
anyhow, just for today, i will own the fact that i do not want to work, i do not want to do anything productive and be okay knowing that at least i am not denying that fact and as the day wears on,day actually change my mind. one great thing about living a program of reacovery, is hat i can restart my day at any time.
what i am struggling with since the meeting yesterday is the fact that someone in an open meeting shared bit of someone else's FIFTH STEP. i am not sure who my peer got their information from and what upset me was that he shared something that was probably told to him in confidence and certainly was not meant for public consumption as i consider any revelations of anyone's FIFTH STEP are Not Safe For Sharing. once upon a time i would not have blinked twice at hearing that, as a matter of fact, i would have probably chased them down to get more of the juicy details. yesterday i was so appalled, that i retrained myself from sharing as i would have done more than a bit of addressing the issue head on, in a fit of pique. no denial here, i was more than a bit “triggered” and ready to react in a manner that would have required an admission of being wrong.
my reaction came up in my daily inventory and was still on my mind as i sat this morning. writing about it is helping me to let it go and i wonder if i really need to say anything to anyone else about it, as i shared the whole event and my reaction with my spouse when i got home yesterday. i know there is still more work for me to do, to let it go and chalk it up to someone who really did not consider what they were sharing in an open meeting. the worst part is that they should know better and i wonder how they would feel if their dirty little secrets were shared by someone they trusted in an open meeting.
anyhow, just for today, i will own the fact that i do not want to work, i do not want to do anything productive and be okay knowing that at least i am not denying that fact and as the day wears on,day actually change my mind. one great thing about living a program of reacovery, is hat i can restart my day at any time.
∞ DT ∞