Some memes

i believe in and will have the courage to stand up for it. this should have been of those source readings that i went off the ranch and picked another reading. oh well, that is certainly water over the bridge! when i consider standing up for myself, there is a fine line, in my world, about being assertive or being aggressive. more than once in my life and in my recovery journey, i have been an intellectual bully to the max and have had to go back and make amends or at a minimum admit that i am wrong, neither of those are activities i enjoy engaging in, and yet, being a person who is doing their best to live a spiritual path, they are necessary corrections.
as i sat and listened this morning, not a whole lot bubbled up from the depths, as i am already fairly good at standing up for my beliefs, the part i often forget is deciding if this is the hill i will die on. more than once i have tread into this dangerous condition and paid the price for minor alterations to a group decision. each and every time, in the moment i was certain i was glad for the outcome, but in hindsight regretted the cost. these days, i am more than likely to do the analysis of whether or not what i am truly ready to fight against the will of my peers, when what i desire and what they desire is really the same thing, just different approaches.
there really is not a whole lot more for me to write today, so i will just amble on along my path and get moving towards work, as my schedule has changed to three closings a week. i can live with that, it just requires a bit of alteration to my morning flow, such as this morning, as i am still not shaved or showered yet. that really is not a big thing, just a bit of an irritation as i am not very good at being spontaneous. i am better than i used to be, and for me, that is great news. just for today, however, i will stand my ground, if the situation warrants it and have the courage to be true to my convictions.

∞ DT ∞