๐ i may not ๐
Posted: Fri, Jul 17, 2026 11:49:28 AM
experience a surge of hope with each spiritual awakening or revelation, but a spark will do just fine to keep me moving forward. some days my source material strikes me as bright and shiny and way too upbeat when dealing with topics that contain darkness. that does not mean it lacks value or importance to me. what it means that i have to dig a bit further into my vault to find what i really am feeling instead of filling this exercise with bon mots and clichés. what i felt this morning was a bit of quiet and balance. out of that quiet and balance came the notion that no matter how tough things may seem, i may actually have the ways and means to deal with them.
i am not one of those people who lives in a constant state of hope. not that it is beneath me, it just is not who i am. it does not mean i do not feel HOPE, for me, HOPE is a product of my FAITH in the recovery program that has carried me this far. that FAITH is strong and abiding and furnishes me enough HOPE to keep moving forward. it is from FAITH i find resilience. it is FAITH that carries me through the hard times and it is my gratitude for that FAITH that allows me to carry a message of recovery that is based i n my own experience, strength and yes HOPE.
what i am finding as i stay clean and provide direction to my peers and HOPE to those who may be new in recovery, is that i need not be a Susie Sunshine or live in a world hat everything happens for a reason. i am quite content to live in a random word where stuff just happens. yes there are forces that are unexplained or seem mystical or perhaps divine, but that does not alter or diminish my FAITH or turn me towards some omniscient, omnipotent version of a HIGHER POWER. i tried that direction for fifteen years and for me, it just did not work. i have FAITH that those of my peers who may follow that path, can and will find the resilience they need from the HOPE their FAITH gives them. i have some answers about what works for me, some may apply to my peers, others may not. the distinction is not relevant to how i carry my message to the still suffering.
i am not one of those people who lives in a constant state of hope. not that it is beneath me, it just is not who i am. it does not mean i do not feel HOPE, for me, HOPE is a product of my FAITH in the recovery program that has carried me this far. that FAITH is strong and abiding and furnishes me enough HOPE to keep moving forward. it is from FAITH i find resilience. it is FAITH that carries me through the hard times and it is my gratitude for that FAITH that allows me to carry a message of recovery that is based i n my own experience, strength and yes HOPE.
what i am finding as i stay clean and provide direction to my peers and HOPE to those who may be new in recovery, is that i need not be a Susie Sunshine or live in a world hat everything happens for a reason. i am quite content to live in a random word where stuff just happens. yes there are forces that are unexplained or seem mystical or perhaps divine, but that does not alter or diminish my FAITH or turn me towards some omniscient, omnipotent version of a HIGHER POWER. i tried that direction for fifteen years and for me, it just did not work. i have FAITH that those of my peers who may follow that path, can and will find the resilience they need from the HOPE their FAITH gives them. i have some answers about what works for me, some may apply to my peers, others may not. the distinction is not relevant to how i carry my message to the still suffering.
∞ DT ∞